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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23892619">A White Knight in the Cove</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteKnightDragon/pseuds/WhiteKnightDragon'>WhiteKnightDragon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Dante's Cove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Bashing, Dark Magic, Gay Sex, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Male Slash, Oral Sex, Pre-Slash, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Magic, Willow Rosenberg Bashing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:19:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23892619</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteKnightDragon/pseuds/WhiteKnightDragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Xander is leaving Sunnydale for Dante's Cove. How will he react to new people, new relationships, new magic and new adventures?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Angel &amp; Xander Harris, Kevin Archer/Ambrosius Vallin, Xander Harris/Other(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Dante's Cove and I am not making any money. I'm just playing with the characters from these wonderful worlds.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>                                                                                                                        Chapter One</p><p>As the sun rose over the tops of the houses of Sunnydale, California, Alexander Lavelle Harris, known as Xander to his friends, watched pensively from his bedroom window. Today was the day he graduated from high school. What should be a happy time for him and his friends, the start of the next chapter in their lives, was overshadowed by the danger that faced them.<br/>
Xander sometimes found it hard to believe that it was only three years ago that he had discovered the truth about the town he'd grown up in and lost his best friend. To think that he had unknowingly been living in a town and going to a school situated right on top of a Hellmouth, a literal gateway to multiple hell dimension, that attracted supernatural creatures like vampires all this time, it was shocking that he'd lived long enough to find out the truth.<br/>
Now Xander had three years of fighting the supernatural under his belt. Not alone, of course. This wasn't a fight he was destined to be a part of, not like Buffy Summers. She was the Slayer, the one girl in all the world destined to fight the evil creatures that preyed on humans. She wasn't the only one anymore. After dying briefly while fighting against an old and powerful vampire called The Master a new Slayer had been called. Her name had been Kendra and she had died within a year, calling Faith. It had been good for a while when Faith arrived, Buffy had been able to share her duties. But then Faith had accidentally killed a human on patrol and went into a downward spiral. The intervention of the Watcher's Council had been things so much worse that Faith had switched sides. She was now in a coma, put there by Buffy to save her boyfriend, whom Faith had poisoned.<br/>
Buffy's boyfriend was called Angel. He was a vampire who had been cursed with a soul by the Kalderash gypsies. What they hadn't known until it was too late was that a moment of perfect happiness would remove that soul from him. It had been rough the year before with Angelus running free and Buffy either unable or unwilling to stop him. He had even killed one of theirs, Jenny Calendar also known as Janna Kalderash. It had been hard for Xander to watch as Buffy failed to do her job in the hopes of getting her boyfriend back. He could understand it to an extent, but it had been clear to him long before Jenny died that the chances of getting Angel back were slim at best, and in the meantime, Angelus was slaughtering innocent people.<br/>
Of course, it turned out there was a way to give Angel his soul back, but it had been done too late to save him. Buffy had to send him to hell to save the world. Xander truly wished that it had been Angelus she had sent to hell rather than Angel. Angel and Xander were not friends and never would be as far as Xander was concerned. He could never bring himself to trust the vampire. But the soul was still innocent of the crimes committed by Angelus and shouldn't have had to suffer for him. Re-doing that curse was cruel as far as Xander cared. The demon didn't suffer as much as the soul did.<br/>
Also helping in Buffy's constant battle against evil was her Watcher, Rupert Giles. He had a dark past, he and his friends used magic for selfish reasons, going so far as to summon a demon. But Giles had turned his life around and dedicated himself to fighting evil and helping his Slayer. He cared so deeply about Buffy, as if she was his own daughter, that the Watchers Council fired him for it. But Giles refused to stop helping Buffy, which had been causing a few problems with the new Watcher, Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. Wesley was a very by-the-book type of Watcher, which wasn't helpful with an unconventional Slayer. He had potential though, at least as far as Xander was concerned though the others appeared to disagree with him.<br/>
There were other students who also helped Buffy, alongside Xander. One was his now ex-girlfriend, Cordelia Chase. She was brutally honest and popular. Her family had been rich until recently, when it had been discovered that Mr. Chase had been cheating on his taxes. But Cordelia was one of the strongest people Xander had ever met and he knew she'd make something of her life.<br/>
Another student was Willow Rosenberg. She and Xander had been friends since they were five, but that closeness had been disappearing for a while and Xander was no longer sure he knew who Willow was. She was a smart young woman, especially with computers, and was their resident hacker when it was needed. Recently she had been getting into magic. Willow had been the one to cast the soul curse on Angel and had since been practicing more and more powerful magic. Xander was concerned as Willow appeared to be using magic as much as possible with no help or guidance, though Giles had offered more than once.<br/>
The last person of their little group was Daniel Osbourne, known as Oz. He was the guitarist in a local band called Dingoes Ate My Baby, the boyfriend of Willow and a werewolf. He wasn't a danger to the public as he always made sure he was locked up on the nights of the full moon. Oz was a very zen person, Xander had rarely seen him show any emotion. Usually it only happened when Willow was upset or in trouble as far as Xander could tell.<br/>
Over the last three years this group had come together to help fight the forces of darkness, but now things were changing. Giles had been fired by the Council; Wesley likely would be too. Buffy, Willow and Oz were heading towards their first year as students at UC Sunnydale. Angel and Cordelia were both leaving Sunnydale, Angel to parts unknown to put distance between him and his doomed relationship with Buffy, and Cordelia to Los Angeles to try her luck at acting. Faith was stuck in a coma, languishing in a hospital bed, possibly never to wake up again.<br/>
And Xander was heading to UC Dante in Florida, though he hadn't told the rest of the group that. He was proud of himself, especially as he got in on a full academic scholarship, but he knew his friends wouldn't understand his desire to leave Sunnydale and would try to guilt him into staying. He wouldn't be able to transfer to UC Sunnydale either, he did get accepted there but not on even a partial scholarship, and he couldn't afford college without that.<br/>
Xander knew that if he tried to explain why he couldn't transfer then his friends would assume he was lying about his acceptance into any college, call him a coward and guilt him into staying anyway, on some crappy minimum wage job, to end up useless, abusive drunks like his parents. Xander couldn't allow that to happen.<br/>
So, he kept his acceptance to college quiet. Instead he told his friends he was going on a road trip after graduation and didn't know when he would be back. And that was when he realized what his friends truly thought about him. They heard road trip just fine, but somehow turned not knowing when he would be back to him promising to see them off on their first day of college. Even when Xander tried to correct them by saying he probably wouldn't be back by them, they ignored him, talking about how great it would be to be seen off to college by him.<br/>
That incident had gotten Xander thinking about how the people he considered his friends had been treating him. He and Willow hadn't been anywhere near as close since they met Buffy and lost their friend Jesse. The more time had passed the further they grew apart. Xander knew Willow used to have a crush on him and he had tried to help her get over him by having an obviously fake crush on Buffy. That crush had started out real enough, and Xander had hoped that by continuing to act like he had a crush on Buffy after those first few months that Willow would get the hint that he wasn't interested without him having to hurt her. It hadn't worked out like that and Willow still had a crush on him when he started dating Cordelia a year later. And then somehow, Xander still didn't know how it happened, Willow and Xander had started making out with each other behind Oz and Cordelia's backs. He couldn't understand it, he'd never seen Willow that way and truly cared about Cordelia, so why would he risk everything to make out with a girl he had no interest in? Xander suspected magic was involved, but he couldn't prove it. But the damage was done.<br/>
The problem with the aftermath, as far as Xander could see, is that everyone except Cordelia had forgiven Willow almost instantly. They hadn't done the same for Xander, but it wasn't just the forgiveness that Willow got, and he didn't. The others, Buffy especially, acted as though Willow was completely innocent of any wrongdoing, like she hadn't been an active participant in the whole thing. So, all the blame ended up on Xander. Cordelia hating him, he could understand that. She was the most hurt by what happened. But the rest? They should either have forgiven them both or shared the blame equally between them. Xander didn't force Willow into anything, that last time he couldn't even remember properly, he's been suffering from blood loss and a nasty concussion at the time. He wasn't aware of what was going on around him until Cordelia and Oz had arrived.<br/>
Then there was the incident with Faith. They'd had sex once, during one of the strangest nights of Xander's life, and he had hoped that meant there was a connection between the two of them, even if it was just as friends. So, he'd tried to talk to her after she accidentally killed a human, tried to help her deal with what had happened. Instead of letting him try, Faith had tried to kill him. Xander could understand her reaction and had already forgiven her for it, but the reaction of his friends was harder to forgive. They acted like he had been in no danger at all with a super strong Slayer actively trying to strangle him.<br/>
For the past year Buffy and Willow had been trying to push Xander out of actively fighting evil, trying to regulate him to their personal slave basically. Didn't they understand that it wasn't their choice if Xander put his life on the line fighting evil? Of course not, they decided that only they could decide what Xander was and wasn't allowed to do. They kept insisting that Xander was a liability and constantly getting hurt. But Xander had never gotten more than a few minor cuts and scratches except the one time he had his wrist broken. Any other injuries were on his father and nether Buffy nor Willow had seen him injured.<br/>
As for being a liability, the only time anyone's life was in more danger than it should be was when Willow or Buffy tried to 'save' him from something he'd already killed or was near to killing. The only liabilities, as far as Xander could tell, were Buffy and Willow, due to constantly focusing on someone who didn't need their help instead of someone who did and what they were supposed to be fighting.<br/>
Willow also acted like she knew everything and was always right, even when proven wrong. She only cared about herself and what others could do to improve her life. She treated Xander like an idiot despite his grades being better than hers, and like the whole world existed to serve her. Xander had only noticed this recently of course, or he'd have broken off the friendship years ago. Willow, Xander had discovered a few days earlier, had spent the last few years trying to get the teachers to accept failing assignments as Xander's work. The teachers acted like they believed her, but then just threw away whatever Willow handed in with his name on, because they knew it wasn't Xander’s work. It was never in his handwriting when written and when typed Willow always forgot to take her name off the document she printed. For someone so smart Willow was incredibly dumb at times, but Xander was thankful for that as otherwise she could have completely ruined his entire future.<br/>
For the most part, Xander could understand Buffy's less than great personality traits. She was a teenager with a destiny to, basically, die young. It made sense to Xander that sometimes she would have issues and would occasionally take those issues out on her friends. And Xander understood teenagers make mistakes, he'd made plenty of mistakes himself.<br/>
But Willow? Despite their year’s long friendship, Xander found that he was unable to forgive Willow, especially as he believed there was yet more that she had done, and he didn't know about. It made him sad to think that this was what their friendship had ended up like, but he'd rather it ended now than with him ending up as Willow's personal slave with no free will of his own.<br/>
Which is why Xander had been so happy to accept the UC Dante offer. It got him out of the town he hated and away from the friends who had become toxic. He could start his life fresh, in a new place where he could make new friends. He'd still fight evil too. Xander no longer had a choice in whether he was a part of this fight, the moment he'd been forced to stake his best friend at the age of fifteen, that choice had been made. He couldn't stop now even if he wanted to. But that didn't mean he couldn't have his own life as well, he could go to college and have friends, separate from what had been his life here in Sunnydale.<br/>
Of course, whether Xander got to follow through with his plans depended on whether he could survive his high school graduation. They were facing the biggest big bad they had ever faced. Richard Wilkins was the mayor of Sunnydale, the commencement speaker at the graduation ceremony, and about to ascend into a true demon named Olvikan. He was going to be bigger and stronger than anything they had faced before and Xander was right in the middle of everything. It would be him laying the explosives throughout the school as the only one with the knowledge to do so, thanks to temporarily being possessed by his soldier costume one Halloween. And it would be Xander leading the students in battle against both the mayor and his army of vampires while Buffy tried to lead the mayor into the school so they could blow him up.<br/>
People were going to die today and Xander was going to be the one leading them to their deaths. The other students were now fully informed and had made the choice to fight themselves, no one had been forced or left unaware. But their deaths would still be on Xander. He wasn't sure how he was going to live with it when it was over if he himself survived. For so many years Xander had been jumping between depressed and outright suicidal, and now when he truly wanted to live, could see hope for himself in the future, he was either going to die or must live with countless deaths of fellow students.<br/>
Xander didn't know who was going to live or die, if they were going to win or lose, or what came next if he survived this fight. What he did know was that he didn't have a choice but to fight, for all the people who had been lost to the darkness of Sunnydale. And so, fight he would, to the best of his ability, and he would hope that as many people survived the day as possible. There was nothing else he could do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disclaimer: Dante’s Cove and Buffy the Vampire do not belong to me, I do not make any money from this.</p>
<p>Chapter Two</p>
<p>The sun shone brightly as the students of Sunnydale High School assembled in their burgundy caps and gowns, ready for the graduation ceremony and all it would bring with it.</p>
<p>Xander looked around him at all the people he’d gone to school with, a lot of whom he had known his entire life. He wondered how many would be left when everything was over. Buffy was acting like she had given him some sort of prize with his assignment in the upcoming battle, but who wanted to ‘win’ the chance to lead fellow students to their likely deaths? Xander supposed it was nice to be appreciated for what he could bring to the fight, even if it was the first time in three years it had happened. But some of these people were his friends, and he was the one leading them in this fight, not Buffy who would stay pretty safe for most of it, taunting the mayor and leading him into the school.</p>
<p>Giles would stay safe too, keeping out of sight so that he could detonate the explosives at the right time. Willow and Oz were staying at the rear, which was also relatively safe. All the immediate danger was on Xander, Wesley and Angel in this fight. The two men that Buffy called a liability and the vampire who was leaving her. Xander wasn’t sure if this was Buffy’s way of admitting that she was wrong or if she was hoping that he and Wesley at least would get seriously hurt or killed so she could claim that she was right.</p>
<p>Xander’s attention switched from his fellow students to the stage in front of him as Principal Snyder stepped aside for the Mayor to make his speech. He glanced up at the sky, keeping watch for the upcoming eclipse that would bring the Mayor’s vampires into the fight, as well as Angel. His eyes widened slightly when he realised that the Mayor was actually planning on doing his whole speech before his Ascension.</p>
<p>As the Mayor started having trouble continuing with his speech, Xander tensed, ready for the fight to begin. He noticed the people closest to him were doing the same. It was almost time.</p>
<p>As the Mayor started to transform into his giant snake form, Xander gripped his graduation robes, ready to remove them. He glanced up briefly as the sun was obscured and felt a little calmer. It felt like night had fallen despite it being the middle of the day, and fighting at night was something he was far more used to than fighting during the day.</p>
<p>As the Mayor’s transformation completed and darkness fell around them, Xander and his unit of students stood and removed their robes, revealing the multitude of weapons that were hidden beneath. Some of the students also retrieved weapons that were hidden under their chairs. They moved as one into the positions they had practised in preparation for this moment, flamethrowers at the front.</p>
<p>As Xander directed the units of flamethrowers and archers he kept an eye on the area closest to him, watching out for the approaching vampires. They would hit Wesley and Angel’s unit first, but Xander had no doubt that a lot of them would break through the line. He briefly caught sight of Buffy taunting the Mayor with the knife she had used to stab Faith a couple of days earlier.</p>
<p>The flamethrowers and archers were doing a good job of keeping the Mayor away from their unit and the few parents who had shown up, but they weren’t doing any damage. Xander jerked around as the far line of his unit surged forward with a couple of cut off screams. He immediately directed half of the archers to turn and aim at the vampires that had broken through. The flamethrowers were now out of the game, the students that had been using them switching to stakes and swords and anything else that could be used as a weapon at a closer range.</p>
<p>The battle was no longer organised into distinct units with distinct jobs. It was now a chaotic free for all as the students fought for survival and the vampires tried to kill them or herd them to the Mayor to be eaten. Xander was no longer directing the action, but was instead right in the middle of the fight. He aimed his short sword with the intention of beheading. He was glad he had practised using the sword one-handed as he plunged the stake in his other hand into the heart of one of the vampires. He ignored the dust the vampire became and moved on to the next enemy, helping a fallen student up as he passed. He didn’t notice who it was.</p>
<p>Vaguely Xander could hear the screaming and yelling around him, but his focus was mostly in the moment. He was aware enough of his surroundings to notice an enemy coming up on his sides, but everything else felt like background noise. You know that it’s there, but you never seem to pay it any attention.</p>
<p>His attention broke slightly as he saw Harmony Kendall go down under a group of vampires. She did not get back up and Xander couldn’t see how she could possibly survive. At least not as a human. He took a deep breath and carried on fighting. Harmony had never been a friend, but she hadn’t deserved to die at eighteen years old. None of these people deserved to die. And Harmony had been one of his, one of his archers.</p>
<p>Xander briefly let himself wonder how the others were doing as he dusted yet another vampire. He hadn’t seen any of them for a while, though he could guess where Buffy was, if she was still alive. It looked like the Mayor was starting to head towards the school. Hopefully it would be over soon, though it wouldn’t be soon enough for the people who had already died. </p>
<p>Xander was forced to jump out of the way as the Mayor’s giant tail suddenly swung in his direction. Larry wasn’t as lucky. Xander froze for an instant as he saw Larry get thrown through the air as if he was nothing. He couldn’t see where he landed, and there were still too many vampires for him to go and see if he was alive. He hoped he was, he wasn’t sure he could handle losing another friend.</p>
<p>Xander quickly jumped back into the fight. He had lost his sword but still had his stake. He fought with fists and feet and stake with a fury he had never felt before. </p>
<p>Xander doubled over suddenly as an intense pain such as he had never felt before coursed through his body. It felt like he was being melted and re-built into something new. He blinked as the pain disappeared just as suddenly as it had come, then blinked again at the vampire in front of him who had just thrust a sword straight through his stomach. He looked down and, without really thinking about it, grabbed the sword and pulled it back out.</p>
<p>The vampire and Xander both stared dumbly as the wound that should have led to Xander’s death closed before their eyes, leaving nothing but the blood on Xander’s shirt to show it had ever been there. Distantly, Xander’s mind connected the sudden healing with the intense pain he had just felt, but he couldn’t focus on that, as he swung the sword up and around, beheading the vampire that should have killed him. He threw himself into the fight around him, determined to save as many of his classmates as possible and figure out what had just happened later.</p>
<p>The next few minutes were a blur of colour, blood and dust. Xander was pretty sure he’d taken more injuries that should have taken him out of the fight, and none had left behind any sign that they had occurred in the first place. He glanced up and realised with a start that he was fighting back to back with Angel. It was eerily reminiscent to the time they had done the same shortly after Buffy had died two years ago. Except back then they’d both been fully focused on the fight and right now Angel kept throwing him concerned looks. </p>
<p>Angel and Xander hit the ground at the same time as the school suddenly exploded behind them. Xander glanced up to keep an eye on the enemy, but they all seemed to be running scared at the Mayor’s destruction. Flaming debris was falling around him, causing just as much damage as the vampires had as far as Xander could tell. The grounds around him fell suddenly silent until a victory cry went up from the survivors. At first, that was all Xander heard, but slowly the moans and screams of pain penetrated his mind as well, and he moved, standing up and heading to the nearest injured student to help as much as he could.</p>
<p>As Xander made his way from injured student to injured student, distantly aware that Angel was following him and also helping the injured, his mind catalogued the faces of all of the dead that he came across. He knew them all.</p>
<p>Xander’s knees gave out suddenly as he came next to Larry. He reached out and felt for a pulse, already knowing there would be none. Larry’s eyes were open, glassy and unseeing. His neck was at a slightly unnatural angle and Xander suspected it had been broken when he had been flung across the grounds by the Mayor. He noticed his hands were shaking as he reached out and closed Larry’s eyes. He didn’t notice that he was crying until Angel wrapped an arm around his shoulders and used his thumb to wipe away the tears.</p>
<p>‘He was a friend?’ Angel asked quietly, sympathetically.</p>
<p>Xander nodded but didn’t answer verbally. Though he was shaking and crying, he felt numb. He didn’t know how he was supposed to be feeling right now, but he wasn’t feeling any of it. He supposed he might be going into shock, but he couldn’t seem to bring himself to care.</p>
<p>Angel gently helped Xander to his feet and led him away from Larry, away from the crowd, keeping his arm around Xander’s shoulder. They reached a bench that had somehow managed to stay undamaged throughout the battle and Angel gently pushed Xander down until he was sitting.</p>
<p>Xander looked up, straight into Angel’s eyes. They were full of concern and sympathy, along with some apprehension, though Xander didn’t know why.</p>
<p>‘Something’s different about you,’ Angel muttered. It seemed to Xander as though Angel didn’t realise that he’d spoken those words aloud.</p>
<p>‘I should be dead,’ Xander told him. </p>
<p>‘That’s survivor’s guilt, Xander, it’s natural after a battle where so many people died.’</p>
<p>‘No,’ Xander denied, shaking his head as if to emphasise his point. ‘One of the vampires ran me through with a sword. Pretty sure I got other fatal injuries too. I should be dead. Why aren’t I dead, Angel?’</p>
<p>Angel looked shocked, though Xander couldn’t blame him. He should be dead and wasn’t. And he’d called the vampire by his name instead of Deadboy like he usually did. Angel’s eyes flickered over Xander’s body, his nostrils flaring. After a second of confusion Xander realised that Angel was using his enhanced sense of smell to determine how much of the blood he was covered in was his own.</p>
<p>‘Did anything happen? During the battle, anything strange?’ Angel asked. His voice was still quiet, almost as though he thought Xander would break apart if he spoke any louder.</p>
<p>Xander shivered as he remembered the moments before he had been stabbed. ‘There was pain,’ he replied, just as quietly as Angel. ‘Right before the sword. It felt like I was being ripped apart or melted and made into something new. It was excruciating, I’ve never felt anything like it.’</p>
<p>Angel’s eyes showed a dawning understanding as Xander looked up into them. The understanding was quickly followed by horror. ‘Willow,’ he growled. Xander just gave him a confused look as that didn’t actually tell him anything. Angel sighed and moved to sit on the bench next to Xander. ‘There’s a spell that can prevent someone from dying. It’s excruciating for the person it’s cast on for a few seconds. As far as I know, it’s permanent as well, though I’ve never studied the spell. And it only works on people who don’t want to live for some reason, it’s a curse, similar in darkness to my soul curse.’</p>
<p>Xander blinked slightly. His previously almost blank mind suddenly jumped into action, screaming in rage. No matter what he did, Willow would never see him as an actual person. She’d never let him live his own life if he stayed. She’d just keep using magic on him until there was nothing of Xander left but the shell. Their friendship had already been over, but now Xander truly hated Willow. As much as he wanted to stay for Larry’s funeral, he couldn’t risk it, not now. He’d leave first thing in the morning, he hoped Larry would understand. If he didn’t leave now there was a pretty good chance Willow would make it so that he never would. She had already destroyed his life completely, Xander couldn’t risk Willow preventing him from putting it back together.</p>
<p>Tomorrow he would leave Sunnydale for good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 3</p>
<p>Although Xander had wanted to leave Sunnydale first thing in the morning it had taken the rest of the day after the Graduation ceremony to get a more reliable car than the one he had borrowed from Uncle Rory. By the time he had succeeded he had been exhausted. In the end, he had decided to pack the following day and head out that evening. </p>
<p>So now Xander was packing the last of his belongings into his new, second-hand car approximately one hour after sundown. He had spent the day dodging calls from the gang. He had only answered the call from Cordelia, and he had told her he needed some time alone after losing so many people he knew. He had also told her about Larry and got an update on Wesley, who he was planning on visiting before he left, along with the comatose Faith.</p>
<p>‘Hey,’ a voice called quietly from behind Xander, making him jump and spin around, stake in hand, to see Angel on the sidewalk with a box by his feet.</p>
<p>‘I really should have followed through on that whole putting a bell on you thing,’ Xander told him with an eye role and a slight grin. He somehow felt more comfortable around Angel since their conversation at the end of the battle.</p>
<p>‘I didn’t mean to scare you,’ Angel apologised awkwardly. ‘I didn’t realise you were leaving yet.’</p>
<p>‘I was going to wait a while. Let the dust settle, attend the funerals.’ Xander shrugged, looking pained. ‘But after what Willow did yesterday, I couldn’t stay any longer.’</p>
<p>‘Where are you heading?’ </p>
<p>Xander managed another small grin. ‘A little place called Dante’s Cove in Florida. I got into college there.’</p>
<p>‘That’s great. How come you didn’t tell the gang?’</p>
<p>Xander looked away from Angel, staring blankly down the empty street. ‘They either wouldn’t have believed me, or they would have tried to make me stay anyway. This is my chance to get out of here, to be better than my parents. They wouldn’t understand that, and I cannot let them take that away from me. Willow’s already taken too much.’</p>
<p>Angel moved forward slightly so that he could squeeze Xander’s shoulder gently in comfort. Then he gestured to the box he had brought with him, still sitting on the sidewalk. ‘I brought you some books, on the type of spells Willow used on you yesterday. I thought you might find them helpful.’</p>
<p>Xander blinked in surprise. ‘Thank you.’ He looked at the obviously uncomfortable Angel. ‘Why are you helping me? We’ve never been friends.’</p>
<p>Angel shrugged awkwardly. ‘No one deserves what Willow did to you yesterday. And I saw how upset you were after the fight, and how hard you tried to save everyone you could both during and after it.’ Angel’s face turned serious as he looked at Xander. ‘You’ve always put others above yourself, and no one’s noticed before. I want you to know that I noticed, and that you matter just as much as they do.’</p>
<p>Xander looked away again, blinking back tears. No one had ever told him he mattered before. It was a strange feeling, especially as it was coming from Angel and not one of his so-called friends. Xander stiffened slightly as Angel suddenly pulled him into an awkward hug. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered, flushing slightly when his voice wavered at the end.</p>
<p>‘You’re welcome,’ Angel whispered back. He pulled away, looking just as uncomfortable as Xander felt. He turned away briefly to grab the box, which he slid neatly into the car for Xander. ‘Are you leaving tonight?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah,’ Xander nodded as he spoke. ‘As soon as I’ve been to the hospital to check on Wesley and Faith.’</p>
<p>Angel looked over at him in surprise. ‘Faith? I didn’t think any of you would care after what she did.’</p>
<p>Xander was about to get angry at that statement before he realised that Angel was happy that he cared about Faith, rather than annoyed as Buffy and Willow would be.</p>
<p>‘I care,’ Xander told him firmly. ‘Faith lost her way and did some terrible things, but she’s still my friend, and she can come back from this.’</p>
<p>Angel smiled slightly, something Xander rarely saw. ‘I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so.’ He stepped back slightly, now looking slightly sad. ‘I’m sorry it came to this for you, Xander. I hope you find the answers you need and the life you want.’</p>
<p>Xander smiled. ‘I hope the same for you, Angel.’ He held out his hand, which Angel grasped firmly in a goodbye handshake that somehow managed to convey a respect between the two of them that had never been there before.</p>
<p>As Angel turned and walked away and Xander started the drive to the hospital, it felt like a good sign for what came next. Xander couldn’t help but wonder what might have been different if he had seen past his hatred for all thing’s vampire earlier. </p>
<p>As he pulled into a space in the hospital parking lot, Xander realised that what ifs were pointless. He could not change the past and it was time to look to the future. That decided, he headed into the hospital and straight for Wesley’s room.</p>
<p>Wesley’s room was empty apart from the man himself when Xander arrived, for which he was immensely glad of for himself, but sad about for Wesley. </p>
<p>‘Hey, Wes,’ he greeted quietly as he entered the room.</p>
<p>‘Alexander!’ Wesley exclaimed in surprise as he looked up. ‘I didn’t expect anyone to come see me.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, I figured.’ Xander sat in the chair next to the hospital bed. ‘But you fought alongside us yesterday, against the Council’s orders I might add. As far as I’m concerned that makes you one of us, so I wanted to come and see how you were doing and say goodbye.’</p>
<p>Wesley blinked in surprise. ‘Whilst I am glad you think that, though I believe you to be the only one who does, what do you mean you’ve come to say goodbye? Where are you going?’</p>
<p>‘I got into a college in Florida,’ Xander told him. ‘I was going to wait a while before heading out, but something happened yesterday with Willow that convinced me I had to leave now.’ Xander held up his hand when he saw Wesley open his mouth to say something. ‘I don’t want to talk about it right now, though Angel knows what happened. But it does mean my friendship with Willow is over. I can’t trust her anymore.’</p>
<p>‘Well I guess all I can say to that is I’m sorry and congratulations on your college acceptance,’ Wesley said after a moment of hesitation. </p>
<p>‘Thank you,’ Xander replied with a sad smile. ‘So how are you feeling and what are you going to do now?’</p>
<p>‘I’m feeling marginally better,’ Wesley told him with a slight grimace. ‘They’re releasing me tomorrow afternoon. After that I don’t really know. There’s nothing keeping me in Sunnydale and I’m no longer a Watcher.’ He shrugged helplessly. ‘Maybe I’ll travel for a little while.’</p>
<p>‘Sounds like a good idea to me,’ Xander grinned at him. ‘And if you’re ever in Florida, head down to Dante’s Cove and look me up.’</p>
<p>Wesley smiled over at Xander. ‘Thank you.’</p>
<p>As Xander left Wesley and headed down to Faith’s room, he realised how similar he and Wesley really were. They were both the outsiders of the group, no matter that Xander had been there from the beginning. They were overlooked and underestimated, a liability in the minds of the others. Neither of them was ever going to reach their potential in Sunnydale. They both needed to get out, and they were both brave enough to know all that and do something about it. </p>
<p>Entering Faith’s room and looking down at the unmoving form of his comatose friend, Xander wondered if Faith felt similarly. He knew the rest of the group never really accepted Faith as one of them, and Faith’s experiences had made it hard for her to let people in. Then he wondered if he would ever get an answer to that, as there was a good chance Faith would never wake up. </p>
<p>He turned slightly and placed the Care Bear that he had been carrying onto the cabinet next to the bed, carefully attaching a letter addressed to Faith to the bears paws. Then he turned back to his friend, bent down slightly and kissed Faith gently on the forehead.</p>
<p>‘Get better and wake up, Faith. The world still needs my favourite Slayer.’ Xander gently smoothed Faith’s hair away from her face. ‘Not going to say sorry about the Mayor given the situation, but I am sorry you lost someone else you cared about. I am sorry I couldn’t help you. And I’m sorry that I have to leave. But I gotta do this. There’s a letter I’m leaving for you that explains everything. You and Angel are gonna be the only ones who know everything unless he tells someone else. It was never about the sex for me Faith. I cared about you, still care about you. You are my friend and that means something to me. If you ever need me, just give me a call ok? I will always be there for you in whatever way I can. Rest for now, you don’t need to fight for a little while. But come back to me ok?’</p>
<p>Xander gave Faith one last kiss to the forehead before he left, ignoring the tears that wanted to fall. There would be time enough to cry once Sunnydale was far behind him. He headed straight out of the hospital and to his car, then drove straight out of town. As he passed the Now Leaving sign that regularly needed fixing, he turned the stereo on full blast and drove on into the night without looking back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 4</p>
<p>Xander didn’t know where he was. Everything around him was blurry and a strange mix of swirling white and grey. He walked aimlessly, feeling strangely at peace, through this strange white/grey fog surrounding him, trying to spot someone or something that he recognised. The sound of what seemed like voices far off in the distance caught his attention and he strained his eyes in an attempt to hear it better. It was muffled, like being below water and he couldn’t be sure what was going on as the fear began to set in.</p>
<p>A sudden scream from somewhere behind him made Xander whirl around in fright only to see that nothing was there. Looking around himself wildly, Xander chose to walk away from where he thought the scream had come from, even though he could not tell which direction he was walking in or what may be in front of him. It felt safer that way.</p>
<p>Feeling jumpy and lost, Xander walked on until, suddenly, he was surrounded by people, faces that he didn’t recognise but thought for some reason that he should. The strange missed swirled between each of the faces, occasionally distorting the features.  They were mostly men, and mostly around his own age. A blond man stood out first, looking lost and scared, the kind of look that just makes you want to give them a hug and make them feel just that little bit better, tell them they weren’t alone in the world. Then there was a dark-haired man, it looked as though he was reaching out desperately for the blond, as though he was scared of losing him.</p>
<p> A young woman came next, with short dark hair, holding a strange book that Xander immediately distrusted. An older woman with lighter brunette colouring followed, looking angry, furious even, an anger that made you wish to be anywhere else, as long as you were far away from that look. A faded image of a young man flickered in and out between the dark-haired male and the younger woman, as if he didn’t want to leave but had no choice, his face becoming distorted from the fog more often than the others. </p>
<p>Another man, dark haired but lighter than the first, appeared behind the man reaching toward the blond, a look of longing on his face, occasionally glancing at the blond with a look of jealousy. And then another dark-haired man who stood out amongst the rest easily, his top hat and coat tails marking him as different from the others. It appeared as if he was trying to break away from the older woman while also trying to reach the blond man. He looked a mix of lost, desperate and murderous. Xander wasn’t sure whether to be scared of this man or if he should try to comfort him instead, but he could not deny the draw to both this man and the man with the mixed longing and jealous looks.</p>
<p>Xander spun around in a circle, staring at these faces around him, these strangers that he thought he should know. He gasped a short breath in shock as voices sounded around him suddenly, coming from seemingly everywhere and nowhere at once. ‘White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water, White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water.’ The voices repeated, over and over, always the same phrase that Xander could only understand a small part of.</p>
<p>Xander gasped once more as the visions of the strangers faces disappeared, replaced with the faces of people that he definitely knew, the strange fog still swirling between them. First there was Larry, staring lifelessly up at the sky, causing tears to spring up in Xander’s eyes. Then Harmony, falling to a group of vampires. Jenny Calender, her neck broken, in Giles’ bed. Theresa, the vampire bite visible on her neck, turning to ash in front of him. Kendra, falling at Drusilla’s feet with her hands on her neck, blood pouring from between her fingers. </p>
<p>Then came Faith, in her hospital bed, comatose, with an image of her happy and laughing right behind, something Xander didn’t remember seeing since just after Faith first arrived. Jack O’Toole, face marred by fear, desperation and anger, as he lunged to disarm his bomb he had built. Spike, with his cocky smirk and a cigarette in hand, leaning casually against a wall. Angel, shocked, with a sword buried in his gut by the woman he loved. Giles, tortured and barely conscious. Buffy, lying motionless in a pool of water in the Master’s cave. And, finally, Jesse, turning to dust on Xander’s own stake.</p>
<p>Xander reeled away from these nightmare images, almost wishing for the one’s that he didn’t understand. He yelled in fright as fire sprung up around him, spinning, changing between red and orange as it surrounded him, the heat causing sweat to bead on his forehead immediately. The voices once more sprung up around him, and Xander realised that it sounded like children. ‘White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water.’ </p>
<p>‘What is this?’ Xander yelled desperately, staring into the flames. ‘What do you want with me? I don’t understand!’</p>
<p>The fire around him calmed slightly, just enough for Xander to catch a glimpse of two young children, a boy and a girl wearing old fashioned outfits, standing just beyond the fire’s edge. ‘White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water.’ It was them, the children, whose voices came from seemingly everywhere and nowhere all at once.</p>
<p>‘I don’t understand!’ Xander yelled at them, trying to be heard over the roar of the flames surrounding him and separating him from these strange children. </p>
<p>‘You are needed,’ the children said and Xander couldn’t help but shiver at the way they spoke in perfect unison. ‘He needs your help.’</p>
<p>‘Who?’ Xander asked. ‘Who needs my help?’</p>
<p>‘You will know,’ the children told him, cryptically. ‘When the time is right you will know, Knight.’</p>
<p>‘How do you know that name?’ Xander attempted to back away, but the flames prevented him, the heat drawing him back to the middle of the circle of fire. ‘Only one person has ever called me any kind of knight.’</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ the children agreed. ‘The vampire with a soul, while he had none. He named you the White Knight. But that is not who he needs. You must embrace the Grey if you wish to save him.’</p>
<p>‘Embrace the grey? What does that even mean?’</p>
<p>‘White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water.’ The children’s chant repeated over and over once more, as the scene around him started to fade and flicker, the flames dying, replaced with that strange fog once more. Xander called desperately after the children, needing to know more, but they were gone except for their slowly fading voices, and the fog was turning to darkness around him. ‘White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water. He needs you. Save him. Save him.’</p>
<p>Xander woke with a start, staring around wildly until he recognised his surroundings as his own car, parked on the outskirts of the town of Dante’s Cove. Moving his seat back into an upright position, Xander practically jumped out of the car, gulping in the fresh, clear Florida evening air, as he tried to calm his racing heart. Nightmares he was used to, but he’d never had a dream like that before. He wondered if this was what it was like for Buffy whenever she had one of her Slayer dreams.</p>
<p>Xander stepped away from his car, staring out at the sunset over the sea, trying to figure out what his dream meant, if it meant anything at all. Xander was inclined to believe it meant something, how could he not after all he had seen and experienced in the last three years? He stared at the reflection of the sunset in the water, thinking over the images he had seen.</p>
<p>‘You’ll figure it out when you’re meant to, bro,’ a voice called from behind him. Xander spun, then stopped in shock at the sight of Jesses standing before him. ‘I’m real, man, though I can’t stay. I don’t belong here anymore.’</p>
<p>‘Jesse?’ Xander whispered, tears springing to his eyes, not sure he should believe that this was truly Jesse.</p>
<p>‘You did the right thing, man,’ Jesse told him. ‘That night, in the Bronze? You did the right thing. And you did the right thing by leaving too.’</p>
<p>‘Really?’ Xander asked, quietly, almost brokenly. ‘It doesn’t feel like it.’</p>
<p>‘I wouldn’t have stopped, man. I would have hurt and killed so many people. You prevented that, saved Cordy.’ Jesse smiled slightly. ‘I’ve been watching out for you, from where I am now. I’m proud of you, all you’ve done. I couldn’t be prouder.’</p>
<p>Xander slowly sunk to his knees, staring up at his old friend, tears now streaming down his cheeks unchecked. ‘I never forgot you,’ he whispered. ‘I missed you so much.’</p>
<p>‘I know,’ Jesse replied, sadly. ‘I wish I could have been there for you, the two of us against the world, like we always planned. But it was my time, man. I do like the place you chose. Where you go to remember me? It’s a good place, our favourite when we were children and we wanted to get away from Willow for a while. I always loved it there, when it was just the two of us, brothers in all but blood.’</p>
<p>‘That’s why I chose it,’ Xander told him. ‘I remember the first time you took me there, right after I got out of the hospital.’</p>
<p>‘You needed somewhere quiet,’ Jesse told him sadly. ‘Away from Willow’s concern and away from your parents.’</p>
<p>‘I like the quiet,’ Xander told him, closing his eyes as the flash of Jack from his dream appeared in his mind, the last time he’d said those words aloud.</p>
<p>‘I know, man. And I’m sorry for what Willow did to you. I wish I could undo it, or tell you how, but I can’t. I don’t know the answer myself.’ Jesse moved forward, crouching down to be at eye level with Xander. He reached out as if to grasp Xander’s shoulder, then changed direction slightly and wiped away the tears still streaming down Xander’s face. ‘She forgot me a long time ago,’ Jesse told him. ‘Buffy didn’t, she still thinks of me at times, still feels guilty. But Willow forgot.’</p>
<p>‘I’m tired, Jesse, I’m so tired.’ Xander’s voice broke as he said the words.</p>
<p>‘I know, man, I know. And I’m sorry you’re not allowed to rest yet. I wish you could. But there’s still more you need to do.’</p>
<p>‘The dream?’ Xander asked.</p>
<p>‘Yes. He needs your help. I’m not allowed to tell you who he is, you must figure that out for yourself. So many people here need help. But you’re the one who sees. You always manage to see to the heart of things; you’ll work it out.’ Jesse stood and backed away slightly, a sad little smile on his face. ‘Larry’s okay by the way. I’m helping him and he’s watching over you with me. He doesn’t blame you, none of them do. They’re glad it was you they were fighting with. You were the White Knight as Angelus called you. But it’s time to let go now, Xander. Let go of Sunnydale, let go of the White Knight. That’s not who you are anymore, and not who you need to be. Embrace the grey, become the Grey Knight instead of the White.’</p>
<p>‘How? I don’t even know what that means!’</p>
<p>‘You’ll get there, man, I have faith in you. You almost had it at Graduation.’ Jesse looked up at the sky, closing his eyes for a second before looking back at Xander. ‘I have to go now. Your new life is here, in Dante’s Cove. Everything you need, you’ll find it here, even if you didn’t know you needed it. Live your life, man. Make it better than it was.’</p>
<p>‘Jesse, wait!’ Xander called out, desperately reaching for his friend. But Jesse was fading before his eyes, a sad but peaceful smile on his face.</p>
<p>‘Let go, Xan,’ Jesse whispered before disappearing fully, leaving Xander alone, staring at the empty road in front of him, the only sound the ocean behind him and his own breathing. He stood slowly, feeling old and broken and, above all, tired. He wiped his tears away with his sleeve, looked around himself once more, then turned and got back into his car. As the car engine revved, Xander looked out at the town before him, took a deep breath, and drove forward. He didn’t know if he could let go, as Jesse had asked, but he could live as best he could. He had no choice.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 5</p>
<p>As Xander pulled up in front of the Hotel Dante he felt extremely glad that the university was covering his housing expenses and were willing to pay for him to stay two months before school started. Looking up at the moon shining down at him as he turned off the engine, Xander decided he’d bring most of his things up in the morning. Grabbing the bag holding the things he needed most and the book he had been reading during breaks in driving, he got out of the car and looked around at the front entrance to the hotel turned boarding house.</p>
<p>You could tell the place was old, practically feel the history of the place, but it held strong and still held an architectural beauty that Xander could appreciate. Turning to look back the way he had come, Xander could just make the ocean in the distance, looking black in the moonlight.</p>
<p>Turning back around to head inside, Xander startled and stopped at the sight of the shirtless man coming out of the building. Slightly taller than Xander himself with lightish brown hair and green eyes, it was one of the men from the dream he’d had just as he arrived. One of the two men he had felt drawn to. Xander drew in a deep breath as the man turned toward him with a smile.</p>
<p>‘Hey,’ the man greeted, ‘you must be the newest new guy. I’m Adam.’</p>
<p>‘Uh, hi,’ Xander replied, holding out a hand that was shaking only slightly he was pleased to note. ‘Xander,’ he introduced himself as the man, Adam, took his hand in a firm grip and shook. ‘I’m not the only new guy?’</p>
<p>‘No. Toby’s new boy got here earlier; Kevin I think his name is.’ Adam shrugged, as if he didn’t really care, but Xander could tell there was something more beneath the surface. Or maybe he only thought that because of that dream. ‘Toby was actually supposed to be the one to greet you, but he’s with his boy. So, you get me instead.’</p>
<p>‘Cool.’ Xander shrugged his bag onto his shoulder and tightened his grip on the book in his hand. ‘That means you know which is my room, right?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah,’ Adam laughed slightly. ‘I’ll show you up, introduce you to a few people along the way. You look like you could use some sleep, long drive?’</p>
<p>Xander grinned. ‘I’ve been driving on and off for the past month, made a few stops along the way. I’m just glad my scholarship covers this place two months in advance.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah I heard you were a student.’ Adam appeared to study Xander for a moment. ‘We don’t get too many students staying here; they usually stay on campus or in their own place. How come they’re putting you up here instead?’</p>
<p>‘They ran out of rooms,’ Xander replied with a shrug. ‘They got a lot of students applying this year apparently. They said they’d had an agreement with the owner of this place to put up any students who couldn’t stay on campus, they just haven’t needed it for a while.’</p>
<p>‘Huh. I didn’t know that. Then again, I don’t know any of the students and have only lived here a couple of years so why would I, right?’ Adam grinned slightly and turned towards the Hotel Dante. ‘Come on, I’ll show you around a bit.’</p>
<p>Xander followed Adam, trying to ignore the fact that he’d just met one of the men from his dream until later, when he was alone. The inside of the Dante was just as appealing to Xander as the outside and he felt as if he could potentially find a home here. The people Adam introduced him too were friendly and welcoming.</p>
<p>And then he met Van and Cory. Once more Xander startled as two more people from his dream appeared before him. Cory was flirtatious and appeared to enjoy being as inappropriate as possible, it was hard to imagine how he could become the faded and distorted flickering image from the dream. Van was bubbly and friendly, artistic and insightful, the sort of woman Xander could see himself being friends with. But the dream, the book she held in it, made him slightly wary.</p>
<p>Xander followed Adam up the stairs, ignoring his enquiring look in Xander’s direction in favour of asking questions about the town.</p>
<p>‘So, where do you guys go for fun around here?’</p>
<p>Adam raised an eyebrow at his question, though whether for the question itself or Xander’s obvious dismissal of his strange behaviour when meeting Van and Cory Xander did not know. ‘Well there’s H2Eau. It’s a beach side bar that caters to everyone during the day. Toby’s a barman there.’</p>
<p>Xander raised an eyebrow himself at this. Adam seemed to bring up Toby fairly often, even introducing Xander to Van and Cory he managed to bring this Toby into the conversation in some way. He was about to point this out when Adam steered him toward a specific doorway. Xander could tell that the room was occupied from the noises he could hear, but Adam went ahead and opened the door without knocking, despite Xander’s protests.</p>
<p>Xander blushed the deepest red he ever had at the sight that greeted him when Adam opened the door. Two men lay on the bed, naked and entwined. They had yet to notice the door had been opened as they kissed deeply, their hands roaming over naked, sweaty skin, swallowing each other’s moans of pleasure, the blond haired man moving his hips back and forth, pushing himself into his partner over and over again. </p>
<p>Xander lunged forward slightly, grabbing Adam and the door handle and pulling back, closing the door as quietly as possible though he was sure both men had realised they’d briefly had an audience.</p>
<p>Adam raised an amused eyebrow at him, a slightly mocking smirk on his face. ‘What’s the matter? You a virgin or something?’</p>
<p>‘No,’ Xander answered, his voice slightly higher than usual. He coughed slightly before continuing. ‘Though that’s the first time I’ve actually seen two people having sex, and I don’t think they’d appreciate the audience.’</p>
<p>Adam shrugged. ‘Not sure I believe you’re not a virgin.’ Head tilted to the side slightly, Adam stepped closer to Xander. ‘How many people have you had sex with then?’</p>
<p>Xander rolled his eyes, flashing back to a previous conversation similar to this. Back then he’d lied, bragging about conquests that had never happened. ‘Just one, though it was a hell of a night. Faith is a wild cat in bed.’ The smile on Xander’s face was distant and melancholic as he thought about the dark haired Slayer and the night they shared together, blurring together with the time not long after when Faith had tried to kill him as he tried to help her.</p>
<p>‘So, you’re straight?’ Adam seemed surprised at this, which confused Xander. Adam seemed to realise this as he continued speaking. ‘Your reaction to Toby and Kevin made me think you were gay, that and you didn’t seem interested in any of the girls earlier.’</p>
<p>‘Ah. Well I’m not really interested in a relationship at all right now, my last one ended badly. Faith doesn’t count as a relationship; it was just the one night. I might be bi though. I had a friend in high school who was gay, sometimes I’d think about what it would be like to kiss him. Never acted on it though.’</p>
<p>‘Well you’ll probably figure it out here. Most of the people staying at the Hotel Dante are gay. I’m the odd one out as I’m straight.’ Adam shrugged slightly, glancing back at the door Xander had just closed. He seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts after a moment and led Xander further down the hall to the room that would be his.</p>
<p>Adam left quickly after showing Xander to his room, leaving him to get settled. Xander dropped his bag on the floor, his book on the desk, then dropped down to lie on the bed. He hadn’t been here half an hour yet and he’d already met three people from his dream. The children and Jesse said he needed to save a man, and Xander didn’t think they meant Cory. Something about the way Cory was shown in his dream told Xander that he was beyond saving. Whatever was going to happen to Cory would happen no matter what Xander did, he might even make things worse by attempting to save him. Maybe it was Adam that needed saving, though Xander didn’t know what he would need saving from. Himself maybe? The man seemed slightly fixated on Toby for some reason. </p>
<p>Xander groaned and threw an arm over his face, covering his eyes. Deciding he wouldn’t know who needed saving without having met all the men it could be, Xander sat up and pulled his shirt off, followed by his shoes and jeans, before crawling into bed and falling into a not-so-peaceful sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Six</p>
<p>When Xander woke up that morning it was to the shrill ringing of his cell phone, sun shining directly into his eyes, and to find that he felt just as tired now as he had before he fell asleep the night before. His sleep had been constantly interrupted by nightmares of the past three years, with a few old childhood nightmares thrown in, and he’d awoken at least twice during the night, probably more.</p>
<p>Glancing over at his ringing cell phone and seeing that the caller was Willow, Xander frowned. This was not the first time Willow had called him in the month since he’d left Sunnydale and Xander had yet to answer any of them, though she called at least once a day. He wasn’t going to answer this one either, though it did remind him to call Angel on his new Los Angeles number and let him know that he had arrived safely in Dante’s Cove. For some reason he felt that he needed to keep in touch with Angel, despite his past animosity towards the ensouled vampire.</p>
<p>Dragging himself out of the comfortable bed, Xander stumbled tiredly into the bathroom and towards the shower to get ready for the day. He hadn’t yet decided if he was going to get straight into the research on his curse now that he could lay all of his books out around himself or if he wanted to explore the town a bit, find out where everything was and how to get there.</p>
<p>As the water poured over Xander’s tired and aching body, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had made a big mistake in coming here. He knew that he had to get out of Sunnydale, he’d never really felt like he belonged there anyway and had always planned on leaving eventually, Willow’s actions were just the final kick he needed to actually leave. Without that, Xander probably would have stayed in Sunnydale for at least a few more years, continued helping Buffy fight the supernatural evils that constantly popped up there, but he never would have felt like he was truly a part of anything beyond that fight. He never would have felt fully accepted by his friends or able to be truly himself without any of his masks. He didn’t miss Sunnydale; he knew he wouldn’t. But he was surprised to realise that he also didn’t miss the people he’d considered his friends either. Faith was the only person still in Sunnydale that he did miss, and she was in a coma. Maybe Mrs Summers too, but that had always been more about wanting a mother who actually cared about him.</p>
<p>But was Dante’s Cove really the right place for him to be right now? Sure, he’d felt almost as if he could call this place home eventually when he had first arrived the night before, but he had hoped to get away from magic and the supernatural, at least for a little while. That didn’t seem to be possible here. Then again, maybe this was the perfect place to be to find a way to undo Willow’s curse. Based on the book Van was holding in his dream, the magic that was used here was a different kind of magic from the magic that he was used to seeing. He’d only ever come across Wicca, demon and chaos magic before now, but something about that book said that it wasn’t any of them. Maybe this different magic held the answer that he needed. Perhaps that was why he was here, not only to help this mysterious man the children and Jesse had mentioned, but to help himself too. </p>
<p>Shaking away his thoughts with a sigh as he got out of the shower, Xander decided that he needed to research the town as well as his curse. He wouldn’t know if he had made the right decision in coming here until he had all the information that he needed, and he didn’t know if it was possible to contact those children or Jesse, or if they would tell him anything more even if he could. He needed to get to know the people that lived here too, see if they were the type of people he could live with. The kind of people he could trust.</p>
<p>Re-entering his bedroom with a towel slung low over his hips, Xander yelped, though he would deny it if asked, when he saw Van sitting on his and bed staring at his now silent phone.</p>
<p>‘Sorry,’ Van apologised with an impish grin, suggesting that she wasn’t very sorry at all. ‘Your phone rang a couple times, someone named Willow? I didn’t want to answer it without your permission though.’</p>
<p>Scowling slightly at just how not sorry Van appeared to be, Xander shook his head slightly and grabbed his bag to find clean clothes to wear. ‘No need to answer it, I’ve been ignoring her every day for the last month, she just hasn’t gotten the message yet. What are you doing in here anyway? Not that I’m not glad to see you!’ Xander grimaced slightly as he realised how his question could be taken, especially as Van didn’t actually know him, grabbing a random t-shirt and jeans out of his bag.</p>
<p>‘Well, with Toby having to work today, I’m gonna be showing Kevin around town a bit. I was wondering if you wanted to join us.’</p>
<p>Xander thought about this for a moment as he got dressed in his bathroom, out of Van’s line of sight. He wanted to look around the town anyway, and he couldn’t research anything until he’d gotten the rest of his things out of the car. Shrugging slightly as he once more stepped into the bedroom, Xander smiled over at Van, who was still sat on his bed, swinging her legs slightly. ‘Sure, why not?’</p>
<p>‘Cool,’ Van grinned again, somehow looking like a little kid on Christmas morning just for getting to show him around town. ‘Kevin’s gonna meet me in about ten minutes downstairs, after he’s said goodbye to Toby. That okay with you?’</p>
<p>‘Sure, gives me time to grab a quick cup of coffee to wake up properly first.’</p>
<p>As Van happily left the room, Xander frowned slightly, staring at the slightly open door that Van had just left through. Kevin and Toby were the men he’d walked in on with Adam last night, but he hadn’t actually met either of them properly yet. He hadn’t paid any attention to their faces last night; he was a little distracted with what they were doing. But with Adam’s constant mentioning of Toby and now this opportunity to properly meet Kevin, with Adam and Van both featuring in his dream, it almost seemed like he needed to meet these two men. Could they be from his dream too? Only one way to find out, Xander told himself as he left the room in search of much needed coffee.</p>
<p>As he entered the kitchen a few minutes later, luckily without getting lost along the way, Xander saw that Adam was up and making two cups of coffee at the counter. ‘Hey,’ Xander greeted with a yawn as he approached.</p>
<p>‘Hey,’ Adam grinned back at him, drinking from one of the two cups. ‘Van said that you needed coffee, I made it the way I make mine, milk and two sugars, that okay?’</p>
<p>Blinking in surprise at both the thoughtfulness and the coincidence, Xander nodded. ‘Yeah, that’s actually how I take mine too, four sugars if I’m planning on being up late.’</p>
<p>Handing the hot drink over, Adam studied Xander for a moment, a small frown appearing on his face. ‘Didn’t you get any sleep? You look just as tired as you did when I met you last night.’</p>
<p>Xander leaned back against the table in the middle of the room, drinking his coffee as he looked up at Adam. ‘I got some sleep. Woke up a few times though.’</p>
<p>‘Is that normal for you? Nightmares or whatever?’</p>
<p>‘Recently, yeah,’ Xander shrugged, more focused on the coffee he was drinking than what he was saying or who he was saying it to. ‘It’s been a rough few years.’</p>
<p>Adam was about to reply to this when Van suddenly bounced hyperactively  into the room, quickly followed by the blond man he’d seen but not met last night, who had a slightly bemused grin on his face as he watched Van practically dancing around the room. </p>
<p>‘You are way too excited for this early in the morning,’ Adam told her in amusement with a raised eyebrow, fully distracted from his conversation with Xander in favour of Van’s antics, which Xander was very grateful for as he finally fully woke up and realised what he and Adam had been talking about. It was far too soon to be discussing things like Larry and Jesse with these people. He knew nothing about them yet.</p>
<p>‘It’s never too early for me to be happy,’ was Van’s reply to Adam, with a happy grin. ‘That and I’ve had three cups of coffee this morning already. Anyway,’ Van spun suddenly and grabbed the blond man, dragging him forward slightly, ‘this is Kevin. Kevin, this is Xander, he arrived last night a little after you did.’</p>
<p>Xander looked at Kevin properly and almost groaned as he realised that he was right, and it was yet another of the faces from his dream. This was the one who had looked so lost and scared. The dream image was suddenly replaced with the scene from last night, which caused Xander to blush lightly as he shook Kevin’s offered hand.</p>
<p>Kevin seemed to notice this, and he put two and two together quickly. A strange mix of a grin and a grimace appeared on his face. ‘It was you last night? Who showed you around?’</p>
<p>Xander’s blush deepened slightly at this. ‘Adam,’ he replied with a nod in the direction of the man in question, who was leaning nonchalantly against the counter, drinking his coffee slowly. </p>
<p>‘Don’t worry about it,’ Kevin told him with a grin, looking over at Adam on the other side of the room as if he wanted to include him in that statement as well as Xander. Adam just shrugged unapologetically. ‘Cory did the same thing to me when I arrived.’</p>
<p>‘Well,’ Van interrupted, bouncing over to them and grabbing both men by the arms. ‘Shall we be off then?’</p>
<p>Xander couldn’t help but laugh, Van’s enthusiasm was rather infectious. It looked like Kevin felt the same way, based off the grin on his face. Even Adam seemed to somehow be happier in Van’s presence.</p>
<p>‘Lead the way,’ Xander told her with a grin, draining his coffee and placing the empty cup on the sink. As he followed Van and Kevin out of the kitchen, Xander cursed his luck. If Kevin was one of the men from his dream, that probably meant that Toby was too. Which meant that he’d already met all but two of them and he hadn’t even been here for a full day yet. There was just the older woman and the man in the top hat left to meet. </p>
<p>Xander shivered slightly at the uncomfortable feeling of having some sort of destiny waiting for him here in Dante’s Cove suddenly came over him. He’d never wanted to have a destiny, he’d seen how it had affected Buffy, Kendra and Faith, but he had nothing better to do with his seemingly eternal life. Might as well see where things led him here. Cursing Willow for the millionth time in the last month, Xander decided to just jump in feet first and worry about the consequences later.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Seven</p>
<p>Xander was walking along the beach looking out at the ocean, slightly ahead of Van, who was having fun in the water, letting the sun gleam on her topless body. Kevin was further away still, sunning himself just off the beach proper. </p>
<p>Van had made sure Kevin and Xander knew where everything was, from the hospital to Van’s favourite coffee shop. She’d made a slight detour to show Xander the college campus as it was slightly out of town. Xander had to admit he was impressed with the campus. It was about the same size as UC Sunnydale, but seemed like an older building, like it had more history to it than Sunnydale did. He’d taken the opportunity to stop by the main office and pick up a campus map, he didn’t want to constantly be getting lost when school started up in two months. </p>
<p>Xander looked back over his shoulder as he heard Van calling out to Kevin, just in time to see Kevin bounding down towards the ocean and the topless pixie that was Van. He turned back to look out to sea as Kevin joined Van.</p>
<p>It was beautiful here, Xander decided. He hadn’t been to the ocean all that often in Sunnydale. There were a couple of times when he was a kid with Jesse and once or twice in high school when a party was held there. It was peaceful like this, with only Van and Kevin on the beach with him. Xander decided he had to check out what it was like at night. Too many of his nights had been spent fighting vampires or hiding from his parents. But his parents weren’t here, maybe he could enjoy it here, even if it was only once.</p>
<p>Stopping with his feet just in the water, letting the slight waves cover his shoes, Xander closed his eyes and lifted his face up to the sun. He wondered what would happen if he just walked out into the ocean, wondered if he would be able to get back to shore or if he’d spend eternity living beneath the waves. </p>
<p>Xander shook off his morbid thoughts as he heard crying behind him. Looking back, he saw Kevin sobbing into Van’s shoulder, with Van looking lost as she tried to comfort him. Jogging back towards them, Xander slowed and knelt, wrapping his arms around both Van and the sobbing Kevin, with Kevin sandwiched in the middle of the other two. </p>
<p>Kevin jerked slightly as he felt Xander behind him, even tried to stop the tears, but it didn’t seem like he could.</p>
<p>‘It’s alright,’ Xander told him quietly. ‘I know you don’t know me very well, Van either for that matter, but a month ago I cried in front of someone I hated. I think that’s slightly worse than a stranger.’</p>
<p>Van smiled sadly as Kevin gave a weak chuckle. Xander rubbed Kevin’s back lightly as Kevin pulled himself together, wiping away his tears. ‘Sorry,’ Kevin mumbled. </p>
<p>‘No need to be sorry,’ Van told him sympathetically. ‘Sometimes we just need a good cry.’</p>
<p>As the three stood up and Van went in search of the clothes she had removed to play in the ocean, Xander smiled slightly at Kevin. ‘If you ever wanna talk about anything, I’m available. Though you’d probably prefer to talk to your boyfriend.’</p>
<p>‘Thanks,’ Kevin replied, looking both surprised and grateful. ‘You really cried in front of someone you hated?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, well I hated him at the time, we’re more friendly now. I didn’t even realise I was crying at first. It was weird, I know I wouldn’t have cried in front of my friends, even unknowingly. Maybe I just needed Angel at the time.’</p>
<p>‘Angel?’ Kevin laughed slightly. ‘What sort of name is that?’</p>
<p>Xander grinned. ‘A nickname, his real name is Liam, he just prefers Angel. It’s what his sister used to call him.’ Xander had somehow decided to stick to the truth as much as possible when talking about his life in Sunnydale. Though he was shocked to realise he remembered the bit about Angel’s little sister. He hadn’t thought about that in a long time. </p>
<p>‘Must have been something pretty bad though, to cry in front of someone you didn’t like.’ Kevin’s voice was quiet and slightly hesitant as he spoke. He was obviously curious but was also trying to respect Xander’s privacy. </p>
<p>Xander realised he’d never make real friends here unless he was truthful about at least some things and so decided to answer Kevin’s curiosity. ‘There was an incident at my graduation ceremony. A gas main in the school blew, there was this huge explosion, pretty much took out the whole building. A lot of people were injured and killed. People I knew, people I was friends with.’ Xander shoved his shaking hands into his pockets, not looking at Kevin as he spoke. ‘I only had a few injuries, so I jumped in to help the injured. It was like a war zone, all that screaming and blood. I think I kinda emotionally shut down while I was helping, but then I found Larry. He was a really good friend. Finding him, realising he didn’t make it...’ He trailed off, looking out at the ocean, remembering Larry’s blank stare. </p>
<p>Xander jumped slightly as Kevin wrapped his arms around him from the side in a slightly awkward hug. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered into Xander’s ear. ‘I can’t even imagine what it’s like to lose someone you care about, especially like that.’</p>
<p>‘I’m sorta used to it now,’ Xander admitted sadly. ‘Larry was just the latest.’</p>
<p>Kevin sucked in a shocked breath at this admission. ‘Where the hell are you from? The slums of a big city or something?’</p>
<p>Xander laughed at this. ‘No, a small suburban town no bigger than Dante’s Cove. But it was a pretty damn dangerous place to live.’</p>
<p>‘What about your friends back home? Don’t you miss them?’</p>
<p>‘No.’ Xander shook his head as if he were trying to emphasise the point. ‘I thought I would, we’ve been friends all through high school, since kindergarten for one of them. But I don’t. I think we grew apart without us realising it. And Willow…well Willow did something I can’t forgive.’</p>
<p>‘I’m sorry,’ Kevin said once again, squeezing Xander’s arm slightly. ‘It must be lonely.’</p>
<p>Xander shrugged slightly. ‘Even with friends I’ve always felt lonely. Most of the people I knew never really knew me, just the masks I wore around them. But I’m not completely alone. I’ve got Angel now, which is weird but kinda cool too, and I’ll have Faith when she wakes up, maybe Wesley if he wants to keep in touch. Plus, I’m here now, I can make new friends.’</p>
<p>‘After eighteen years, there’s only three people you wanna keep in touch with, that’s kinda sad you know. Wait, what do you mean when Faith wakes up?’</p>
<p>‘Ah, well Faith is kinda in a coma right now. She got stabbed. Then fell off a building. Onto a truck. But Faith’s a survivor, she’ll wake up when she’s ready.’</p>
<p>Kevin gave Xander a strange look he couldn’t decipher. ‘You have a weird mix of optimism for the future and depression, you realise that, right?’</p>
<p>Xander laughed. ‘Most people haven’t picked up on that. I shouldn’t be surprised someone here did though, I’m not wearing my goofy class clown mask anymore.’</p>
<p>‘Well, no matter which you I’m getting, I’m glad it’s the real you and not a mask,’ Kevin told him with a smile.</p>
<p>‘Well, I’m glad that I’ve met people that I feel comfortable enough around to not use a mask. It’s only the third time in my life I’ve felt like that.’</p>
<p>‘Hey guys,’ Van suddenly chirped from a little way behind them. ‘Whatcha talking about?’</p>
<p>‘This and that,’ Kevin replied when he noticed Xander shifting slightly beside him, obviously not wanting to go through everything again. ‘Did you know Xander has a guy friend named Angel?’</p>
<p>‘Really? Odd name for a guy.’ Van gave Xander a look here as if she thought he was lying in an attempt to cheer Kevin up.</p>
<p>‘It’s not his real name,’ Xander told her with a grin. ‘Just a nickname his sister used to call him. His real name is Liam. If you don’t believe me, I’m planning on calling him later, you can ask him yourself if he goes by Angel or not.’</p>
<p>‘Still not sure I believe you here, but I’ll take your word for it, for now at least.’ Van grinned suddenly and practically danced around them until she was standing in front of them instead of behind them. ‘Now, there’s a party tonight at the Dante and you are both coming, you don’t get a choice in this. It’ll be a great way of meeting everyone. So, to prepare, the three of us are going to go get ice cream and then I’m gonna help you pick out an outfit to wear. Okay?’</p>
<p>‘Do we have a choice in this plan?’ Kevin asked her, obviously already knowing the answer to his question by the resigned but amused tone to his voice.</p>
<p>‘Nope,’ Van practically sang. ‘Xander, did you only bring the one bag? Cause that didn’t seem big enough to carry more than a couple outfits. If that’s all you have, we’ll have to borrow something. Adam’s about your size.’</p>
<p>‘That’s just the stuff I brought in last night, the rest of my stuff is still in my car, it was pretty late when I got here. I figured I’d get the rest of my stuff after your tour.’</p>
<p>‘Cool, then we’ll go get ice cream and me and Kevin can help you with your stuff, so we have plenty of time to choose the perfect outfits.’ Van grinned at the two men as if she were giving them the greatest gift before spinning around and between them, grabbing their arms and leading them away from the ocean and back towards town.</p>
<p>Kevin and Xander shared a look over Van’s head, Kevin obviously unsure what he’d gotten himself into. ‘I forgot the side effect of being friends with girls,’ Xander said with a shake of his head. ‘Way too much focus on clothing choices.’</p>
<p>Van’s pleased giggle drowned out Kevin’s quiet groan and Xander’s resigned sigh as she continued to drag them to their promised ice cream and the upcoming torture of a girl choosing their outfits.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Eight</p>
<p>Xander groaned as Van finally left his room to help Kevin choose an outfit to wear. She’d spent the last two hours going through the few items of clothing that Xander owned, critiquing some (his hideously loud shirts that he was intending to get rid of anyway) and forcing Xander to model others.</p>
<p>Van had finally settled on a black wife beater with an almost see through shirt over top that Xander didn’t even know he owned, paired with a tight pair of black jeans and his combat boots that he usually wore for slaying, not partying. Not that he’d been to all that many parties in the past being part of the loser crowd, the Bronze didn’t really count for that as fun as it was.</p>
<p>Taking the time before the party really got started Xander sat on his bed and grabbed his cell phone, ignoring the missed calls from Willow (three in the last four hours, she must be getting desperate to talk to him), he quickly dialled Angel’s new number and listened to it ring.</p>
<p>‘Hello?’ Angel answered after the fourth ring, sounding slightly sleepy.</p>
<p>‘Hey, Deadboy. Didn’t wake you, did I?’ Xander greeted with a grin on his face.</p>
<p>‘Xander?’ Angel asked in surprise. ‘I didn’t expect to hear from you after you left Sunnydale. And, no you didn’t wake me, but I haven’t been up long. Is there something wrong?’</p>
<p>‘Nah, nothing’s wrong,’ Xander told him, his grin turning bittersweet as he realised his so-called friends would immediately decide he was in danger, but Angel was just concerned and making sure. ‘Just thought I’d check in; let you know I arrived safely and all that.’</p>
<p>‘Really?’ The surprise was still clear in Angel’s voice, though the concern quickly left now that Xander had assured him of his safety. ‘I figured you wouldn’t even think of that, not with me. Not that I’m complaining.’</p>
<p>‘It surprised me too,’ Xander admitted. ‘I mean, you out of everyone? Not like we ever really liked each other. But I kinda felt this need to keep in touch with you. Plus, it’s nice to talk to someone who knows everything I do.’</p>
<p>‘I get it,’ Angel told him quietly. ‘Starting over isn’t easy. I’m surprised it was me though. I would have thought either Giles or Mrs Summers would be your first choice.’</p>
<p>Xander shrugged even though Angel couldn’t see the gesture. ‘Never even thought about calling them. Though I might send an email to Mrs S. She’s been good to me. So, how’s LA treating you?’</p>
<p>There was a slight creaking sound over the phone that Xander decided was Angel leaning back in his seat. ‘Pretty good so far. I’m pretty much just doing the same as I did in Sunnydale, just alone instead with Buffy. What about Dante’s Cove? Are you settling in okay?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, it’s a nice place and the people seem alright. Adam and Kevin seem pretty cool and Van seems to have adopted me.’</p>
<p>‘But?’ Angel asked.</p>
<p>‘What makes you think there’s a but?’ Xander’s eyebrows rose slightly in shock that Angel had picked up on something.</p>
<p>‘Your voice wavered slightly on the names,’ Angel informed him. ‘And you sound slightly unsure as well even though you were telling the truth as far as I could tell.’</p>
<p>Xander sighed loudly and lay back against his pillows. ‘Right before I arrived, I had this dream. It was weird and it feels like I’m meant to do something here. And the dream told me I had to help someone.’</p>
<p>Angel paused before answering, thinking this over. ‘You think it was prophetic?’</p>
<p>‘Maybe more like a warning? And a plea for help?’ Xander rubbed agitatedly at his face as he tried to think of a way to explain. ‘There were people in the dream, strangers, but it felt like I should know them. And these little kids that told me I needed to help him, but I don’t know which him they were talking about. When I woke up...’ Xander trailed off, remembering that conversation.</p>
<p>‘When you woke up?’ Angel prompted when Xander didn’t continue.</p>
<p>‘I saw Jesse. We even talked.’ Xander’s voice was quiet, tinged with both sadness and remembrance. ‘He told me the same thing the kids did. There was a bit more to what they told me, but the main point seemed to be helping this unknown man.’</p>
<p>‘So, it’s seeing and speaking to Jesse that makes you believe the dream is real?’ Angel asked him, sympathy colouring his voice.</p>
<p>‘Partly,’ Xander admitted. ‘But then I arrived at the Hotel Dante.’</p>
<p>‘What happened then to make you fully believe?’</p>
<p>‘I met Adam,’ Xander told him. ‘Then Cory and Van, a little after I kinda met Toby and Kevin but I didn’t see Kevin’s face till today and haven’t met Toby properly yet.’</p>
<p>‘What’s so special about them?’ Angel asked, confused.</p>
<p>‘They were in my dream, Angel. Every single one of them, though I’m guessing on Toby due to how close he and Kevin are.’</p>
<p>Angel let out a breath in surprise. ‘Tell me what the kids told you, exactly.’</p>
<p>Xander closed his eyes, trying to remember as many details as possible from that part of his dream. ‘They told me I had to help him, but not who he was, just that I would know him when the time was right. They kept going back to repeating White Knight, Grey Knight, moon and water over and over again. They said I needed to embrace the grey. Jesse said the same thing, without the creepy repeating thing. He said that I needed to let go of the past and being the White Knight and become the Grey Knight if I wanted to help this guy. He told me that I see the heart of things and I’d find what I needed here even if I didn’t know I needed it. He said I nearly had the whole grey thing at Graduation, but I have no clue what he means.’ Xander sighed in frustration as he finished speaking.</p>
<p>‘Hmm,’ Angel was tapping on something over the line as he thought over everything Xander had said. ‘I’m the only one who’s ever called you the White Knight.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, the children knew that, they called you the ensouled vampire but knew you didn’t have a soul when you called me that.’</p>
<p>‘Let go of the past is obvious,’ Angel told him. ‘Though not easy to do. They seemed to focus on the white and grey thing?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, both the kids and Jesse focused on that.’</p>
<p>‘White is usually used for good, which is why I used it for you. Black is for evil. So, grey would be neither, but somewhere in between the two.’</p>
<p>‘I guess?’ Xander agreed half-heartedly. ‘But how did I almost have that at Graduation? I was still one of the good guys.’</p>
<p>‘When you went into the fight against the Mayor, did you know a lot of the people you were leading were more than likely going to die?’ Angel asked him.</p>
<p>‘Well, yeah. That was pretty obvious, Deadboy.’</p>
<p>‘And yet you still led them into battle,’ Angel reminded him. ‘Would the Xander who confronted Angelus in the hospital have done that?’</p>
<p>Xander blinked as he thought back to who he was during those days and compared it to who he was just a month ago. ‘No,’ Xander admitted quietly. ‘Back then I’d have gotten as many people away from the area as possible, saved as many lives as possible.’</p>
<p>‘And we’d have lost,’ Angel informed him quietly. ‘We won because so many were willing to fight despite the dangers. We won because you were willing to lead those people despite the cost. If we’d fought the Mayor a year earlier, we’d have lost.’</p>
<p>Xander swallowed as he thought about this. ‘What exactly are you saying, Angel?’ He found himself dreading the answer he was about to get, having a feeling this was going to change him somehow.</p>
<p>‘The White Knight would have saved as many lives as possible and lost the fight,’ Angel told him, sounding sympathetic and sad as he spoke. ‘The Grey Knight knows that sometimes you have to sacrifice a few lives to win, he knows that sometimes you have to be ruthless even when it means losing comrades and friends.’</p>
<p>‘Cory,’ Xander whispered as he realised, he was right.</p>
<p>‘What?’ Angel asked, confused by this seeming change of topic. </p>
<p>‘In my dream,’ Xander explained, ‘every face was clear, their expression was clear, their features. They were surrounded by fog, but they stayed clear. Except Cory. His face was faded, the fog distorted it, and he flickered in and out. He was the only one that did that.’</p>
<p>‘He’s not the man you’re meant to save,’ Angel realised. ‘You can’t save him. Whatever’s going to happen to him is going to happen no matter what you do.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah,’ Xander agreed sadly. </p>
<p>‘The White Knight would try to save him anyway,’ Angel told him. ‘But the Grey Knight would step back and let fate take its course.’</p>
<p>‘I have to let him die?’ Xander asked, his voice breaking. ‘I’m not sure I can Angel, I’ve lost too many people already.’</p>
<p>‘I think you have to Xander,’ Angel told him sympathetically. ‘Saving him will likely make things worse. Have you met all of them yet, other than this Toby?’</p>
<p>‘Not yet,’ Xander admitted. ‘There’s two more I haven’t met, a man and a woman. The woman is older than me and the man was wearing old fashioned clothing. The sort of clothes you probably wore when you were human and wearing smart clothes.’</p>
<p>‘So around two hundred years out of date then? You thinking vampire?’</p>
<p>‘I don’t think so,’ Xander replied slowly. ‘I’m not getting much of a vamp vibe here, if there’s a presence it’s a small one. I’m thinking magic and curses.’</p>
<p>‘What makes you think that?’</p>
<p>‘The way Jesse said I’d find what I needed here, and this book Van was holding in the dream. It just kinda says magic to me.’</p>
<p>‘Xander!’ Van’s voice suddenly yelled from outside his door. ‘Get your ass out here! It’s party time!’</p>
<p>‘Give me a sec!’ Xander yelled back, grinning slightly, though it didn’t reach his eyes. ‘Sorry, Angel,’ Xander continued at a normal volume, ‘they’re having a party to welcome me and Kevin, though I’m fairly sure that’s just an excuse and they would have thrown the party anyway.’</p>
<p>‘Not a problem, I’ll let you go,’ Angel replied, and it sounded like he was smiling. ‘Xander?’ Angel’s voice stopped him from hanging up.</p>
<p>‘Yeah?’</p>
<p>‘Have fun and don’t worry about this dream stuff for tonight. You’ll figure it out, I have faith in you for that, but you need to let off steam too. Relax, have fun, and get to know your new friends okay?’</p>
<p>‘Okay,’ Xander agreed. ‘But you gotta think about making new friends too. This lone wolf thing isn’t gonna work in the long run, you need a team.’</p>
<p>‘Alright,’ Angel replied. ‘I’ll think about it.’</p>
<p>Xander laughed quietly as he hung up, suddenly glad that he’d called Angel. It hadn’t made him feel any better about this whole thing with the dream, but it was nice to know he had someone he could rely on, even if that someone was all the way in LA. It wasn’t something that had happened often.</p>
<p>‘Xander!’ Van yelled once more from outside his room.</p>
<p>‘Coming!’ Xander yelled back. He stood, shoved his phone into the drawer next to the bed, and strode over to the door, yanking it open just as Van was about to bang on it. This caused Van to yelp as she fell forwards into Xander’s chest, which resulted in Xander laughing at her and actually feeling ready to party with his hopefully soon to be friends. ‘Sorry, pixie, just needed to finish a phone call.’</p>
<p>‘That’s fine,’ Van told him. ‘Did you just call me pixie?’</p>
<p>‘Yep, it’s what you remind me of. A cute and mischievous pixie.’</p>
<p>‘I like it,’ Van decided after a moment’s thought, grinning up at Xander. A second later she had grabbed Xander’s arm and started dragging him downstairs in the direction of the sounds of music and laughter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Nine</p>
<p>As Xander made his way through the throng of people on the lawn of the Hotel Dante with a bottle of beer in his hand he couldn’t help but be glad that he’d let Van pick out his outfit. Most of the girls were wearing the sort of outfits Buffy would wear to the Bronze, all low-cut tops and short skirts or tight trousers. Some were more covered up than others, but they all showed at least some skin,</p>
<p>The men were also showing skin. Some, like Adam, were wearing jeans and suit jackets, but with nothing under the jacket. Others were dressed like Xander himself, jeans and t-shirt, some with a shirt over the top and others without. </p>
<p>And then there was Cory, wearing jeans and some sort of mesh top. The top could technically be said to be covering the shoulders and the upper chest, but it didn’t actually cover anything. It did however draw attention directly to Cory’s nipples, which was apparently the attention. Xander had overheard Cory telling Adam that he was immensely proud of his nipples.</p>
<p>Most of the people were dancing, but a few people were standing off to the side in groups, drinking and chatting. A few people had already found someone to make out with, people Xander believed would be leaving soon to find somewhere quieter for a more intimate encounter, despite the party having just gotten started.</p>
<p>It was strange for Xander to see mostly same sex couples. Back in Sunnydale the only out gay person he’d known had been Larry, so it was exceedingly rare to see two men or two women together. But here nobody cared whether you were hooking up with a man or a woman. It was rather freeing to see so many people just being themselves and having fun without worrying about what others would think of them.</p>
<p>At one point Xander had found himself dancing with Cory and Van. It had felt almost like being at the Bronze and dancing with Buffy and Willow, except Cory kept grabbing his ass or grinding against him. Which for some reason always made Van start giggling. </p>
<p>As the night wore on, Xander finally got a good look at Toby as the man had led Kevin out for a dance. As he had previously suspected, Toby was yet another of the men from his dream. Watching them now, Xander dreaded to think what could have caused them to look the way they had in that vision. There was nothing lost and scared about Kevin here, he was happy, having fun and in love. Toby didn’t appear to be worried about losing Kevin. The two were so obviously in love with each other that Xander vowed then and there to do everything in his power to make sure they never lost each other. Just because his own life sucked didn’t mean Kevin and Toby’s had to as well.</p>
<p>Turning away from the two men as Toby led Kevin away from the Hotel Dante, Xander spotted Van also sneaking away, into the building, with a blond girl he couldn’t remember the name of but believed was Van’s girlfriend. Watching as two of his new potential friends left with their significant others, Xander couldn’t help but feel lonely. It was a feeling he was pretty used to by now, but back in Sunnydale he could at least pretend he wasn’t alone by hanging out with Buffy and Willow. Here, he had no one to just hang with, these people were nice but still strangers to him.</p>
<p>Sighing slightly, Xander made his way a little further from the music and dancing, wishing he could just let go and have fun like he had earlier in the night with Van and Cory. He stopped at a low wall to the side of the building with a view of the ocean just visible in the darkness around him. Maybe it had been a bad idea to confide in Angel earlier. He’d needed someone to talk to, and Angel was the only person he felt able to really open up to about this that wasn’t currently in a coma or unreachable, as Faith and Wesley were. But perhaps he should have waited, at least until the morning. It was hard to focus on just having fun with that conversation fresh in his mind. </p>
<p>As Xander made his way back to the party he was startled to realise that it was now full dark, and he’d been standing staring at the distant ocean for about an hour. He spotted Toby making his way back towards the building, alone. Frowning slightly, Xander made his way over to where Van and Adam were standing with Van’s girlfriend, wondering where Kevin was. </p>
<p>‘Where’s Kevin?’ Van asked as Toby joined the group at the same time as Xander did, obviously wondering the same thing as he was.</p>
<p>‘He’s at the hospital,’ Toby replied with a slight frown of worry. </p>
<p>‘What happened?’ Van asked, her slight concern turning into full blown worry in a split second as she lightly laid her hand on Toby’s arm in comfort.</p>
<p>‘His wrist got cut,’ Toby told her.</p>
<p>‘How?’ Adam jumped in to ask.</p>
<p>‘By accident,’ Toby replied with a slight shrug, as if he didn’t know the answer himself.</p>
<p>‘That explains the blood in the basement,’ Van realised, making Xander wonder when she’d been down to the basement and why she didn’t say anything about seeing blood there.</p>
<p>‘Is he okay?’ Xander asked, worried about his new friend. ‘Is there anything we can do?’</p>
<p>‘He’s fine. It was just a slight wound,’ Toby informed him, though Xander thought he was lying about that.</p>
<p>‘So why didn’t they let him go?’ Adam asked, sounding slightly aggressive now.</p>
<p>‘I think he was too weak.’</p>
<p>‘Why?’ To Xander it appeared as if Adam was gearing up for a fight. </p>
<p>‘The cut was deeper than they thought,’ Toby explained. </p>
<p>‘You just said it was nothing. Nobody’s buying your story,’ Adam told Toby.</p>
<p>‘Toby, I think you should go upstairs,’ Van suggested, touching Toby’s arm comfortingly.</p>
<p>‘I can’t,’ Toby told her. ‘I just don’t wanna be alone right now.’</p>
<p>‘Was he tweaking on crystal?’ Adam suddenly asked, a question that seemed to come completely out of nowhere to Xander</p>
<p>‘Who said Kevin was using?’ Toby asked, anger starting to become clear in his voice</p>
<p>‘It’s kinda obvious,’ Adam replied with a shrug, causing Xander eyebrows to raise in surprise, as there was no hint of Kevin using as far as he could see.</p>
<p>‘Kevin wasn’t on drugs okay?’ Toby told him angrily. ‘You sound like the doctor. He just had a few beers.’</p>
<p>‘And a few….’ Adam made a gesture meant to signify doing drugs.</p>
<p>‘Do you have anything to back that up with?’ Van asked, just as angrily as Toby. ‘You know you’re so quick to accuse others of using, makes me wonder who might be hiding something here.’</p>
<p>‘What did Kevin cut himself on?’ Adam asked.</p>
<p>‘Something in the basement?’ Van guessed. ‘There’s a shitload of glass down there and it’s dark as hell.’</p>
<p>‘I bet somebody jumped him,’ Toby suddenly accused. ‘Maybe like you beat the shit out of me in high school?’ It was obvious exactly who Toby was accusing of jumping Adam.</p>
<p>‘Maybe you should have focused more on your studies and less on my package,’ Adam replied aggressively.</p>
<p>Toby suddenly shoved at Adam, pushing him away. ‘Fuck you!’ he almost yelled before turning and practically running into the building.</p>
<p>‘You’ve gone too far,’ Van informed Adam before chasing after Toby.</p>
<p>‘I am sick of your drama!’ Adam exclaimed, aimed at Toby even though he was long gone. He looked around at the people surrounding him before walking off in the opposite direction to Van and Toby.</p>
<p>Xander watched him go with a frown on his face as Cory finally joined the group, having obviously been listening. ‘You think he’s telling the truth?’ Cory asked.</p>
<p>Xander looked back, losing Adam in the crowd. ‘Who?’</p>
<p>‘Toby. About it not being anything serious. He seemed pretty worried there,’ Cory elaborated, and Xander breathed out a sigh as he realised Cory didn’t believe Adam’s idiotic claims.</p>
<p>‘I think he’s telling mostly the truth,’ Xander replied thoughtfully. ‘I think he’s downplaying it a bit.’</p>
<p>‘What makes you think that?’ Cory wondered.</p>
<p>Xander shrugged slightly. ‘They wouldn’t keep Kevin in if it were really nothing serious. Sounds like they’re worried about blood loss, given Toby said he was weak. They might even be worried that it was self-inflicted depending on where he was hurt.’</p>
<p>Cory gave him a weird look. ‘You seem to know way too much about this stuff.’</p>
<p>Xander shrugged. ‘Seen a lot of injuries over the years,’ he replied vaguely, looking around himself trying to find Adam again.</p>
<p>‘Don’t bother,’ Cory told him, noticing the look. ‘Adam,’ he elaborated. ‘You won’t get through to him, he’s a dick. Especially where Toby’s concerned.’</p>
<p>‘I thought they were friends?’ Xander asked.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, since high school. And normally they get on great, but not when Toby has a boyfriend,’ Cory informed him before walking off, having spotted someone that interested him.</p>
<p>Xander watched him go for a moment and then went off in search of Adam. He finally spotted him a little way away from where the party was starting to break up, talking to a girl. As Xander approached, the girl turned and walked off. </p>
<p>‘I don’t speak lesbianese!’ Adam yelled after her before spotting Xander and grinning drunkenly at him. ‘I’ll get the next one,’ he said confidently.</p>
<p>‘Maybe she just realised you were a dick,’ Xander told him harshly.</p>
<p>Adam stepped back slightly in shock before getting angry. ‘What are you talking about?’</p>
<p>‘Earlier with Toby. That was out of line.’</p>
<p>‘And who are you to tell me how I can talk to my friend?’ Adam asked as he took a threatening step forward.</p>
<p>Xander stood his ground and stared hard at Adam before replying. ‘A guy who knows that if you keep acting like that around Toby, he won’t be your friend anymore.’</p>
<p>‘And why should I listen to you? You just got here, you don’t know any of us and we don’t know you.’</p>
<p>Xander flinched slightly at the reminder that he was essentially alone now. Adam didn’t seem to notice. ‘If you don’t want to listen to me, that’s fine,’ Xander told him quietly. ‘But someday soon you’re gonna have to choose between accepting Kevin or losing Toby. Don’t come crying to me if your attitude means you lose him before you get the chance to make that choice.’</p>
<p>Xander turned and walked away before Adam could reply. It didn’t seem like a good idea to say more right now, given how angry and drunk Adam was. He didn’t want to say or do something he’d regret later; he had enough regrets already. As he made his way up the stairs to his room, Xander couldn’t help but think that he’d only been in Dante’s Cove for one day and he already seemed to have lost one of his potential friends. This hurt more than he thought it would given he didn’t actually know Adam. He decided he’d blame it on the dream, as Adam was one of the two men he’d felt drawn to. </p>
<p>As Xander stripped down to his boxers and threw himself onto his bed, he couldn’t help but wonder just why he’d been chosen for this. He was the screw up of the Scooby Gang. He couldn’t even help himself, how was he supposed to help some man he didn’t even know? Looking over at his desk, covered with the ancient books Angel had given him, Xander decided to spend a few days on research. Maybe then he’d feel better able to help these people, knowing that he was doing something to help himself at the same time.</p>
<p>Turning over in bed, away from the books that possibly held the answers he needed, Xander closed his eyes and let himself drift into a once more troubled sleep, full of nightmare visions of the past.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Ten</p>
<p>Over the next week Xander buried himself in his research. It wasn’t easy as Angel had given him a large number of books in a mix of Old English and Latin. There was even one written in Egyptian hieroglyphs. The Old English took a little while for Xander to decipher and he had to keep double checking the Latin. He hadn’t even tried translating the Egyptian book yet.</p>
<p>Xander found it impossible to ignore the fact that he was lonely. Back in Sunnydale he had been able to at least pretend that he wasn’t alone, but here he didn’t actually know anybody. He didn’t fit yet. With Kevin in the hospital there was no one at the Dante who really understood being the new guy as they had all been here so long. </p>
<p>Twice during the week Xander had taken a break from the research and gone to visit Kevin. They’d gotten along just as well as they had on the beach, but Kevin was tired and distracted. It wasn’t all down to his injury either, it didn’t seem as though Kevin was getting much sleep. Xander had caught a glimpse of Kevin’s injury once, when the doctor had come to check how it was healing. It looked self-inflicted and the doctor certainly seemed to think that it was, but Xander believed Kevin when he said he didn’t mean to hurt himself at all. There was, however, something about the way Kevin had said those words that made Xander believe Kevin had done it to himself but hadn’t wanted to.</p>
<p>Besides his visits to Kevin, Xander had spent most of his time hidden away in his room. Adam was avoiding him, had been since the party, though Van had said that Adam had apologised to Toby. Xander didn’t know what had been said between the two, neither did Van, but Toby had gone from his initial avoidance of Adam to treating him the same as he had before their falling out. Xander was glad of that, though wished he and Adam could go back to how they’d been that first day as well.</p>
<p>Xander had decided not to bother Toby and Van too much. Toby was understandably worried and focused on Kevin and Van, as Toby’s best friend, was supporting him. They also appeared to be researching something themselves though Xander had no idea what.</p>
<p>He had managed to spend some time with Cory, but there was only so much of the man Xander could take at once. Cory was loud, he could be a complete dick at times, and flirted with every man he found attractive. Which to Xander appeared to be every man Cory met. It could get a bit much at times, but the more time Xander spent with him, the more determined he became to save Cory from whatever fate his dream had indicated. Cory was a good man and Xander decided he didn’t deserve whatever fate had in store for him. He had beaten fate once before and he was determined that he would do so again for Cory.</p>
<p>Cory seemed to have noticed Xander’s loneliness and tendency to hide away in his room though, at least he had if his occasional concerned looks in Xander’s direction were anything to go by. A couple of times Cory appeared about to ask if Xander was okay or something along those lines. Xander was glad that he didn’t. As much as he liked Cory, Xander didn’t believe he could confide in him about his life. He was a very open man where his sexuality and sex drive were concerned, but that did not appear to extend to being open to the possibility of the supernatural. Van seemed the most likely to be open to that, but Xander didn’t want to take her away from Toby when he obviously needed her.</p>
<p>Every time Xander thought about possibly bringing one of the other residents of the Dante into his confidence, he always came back to Adam. He didn’t know what it was, if he truly trusted Adam, or if it were something left over from the dream, but for some reason he felt he could open up to Adam. Or at least he could if Adam weren’t avoiding him.</p>
<p>Sighing loudly, Xander slammed shut the book he was trying to read, one of the Latin ones, and stretched out the kinks from leaning over his desk for hours. He blinked slightly in shock as he realised it was now dark outside and he hadn’t noticed. </p>
<p>Xander stretched once more as he stood, then left his room and headed down to the kitchen for something to eat. Just as he got to the kitchen door, he was almost knocked over by Adam rushing down the hall towards the stairs.</p>
<p>‘Whoa, slow down there before someone gets hurt,’ Xander told him, grasping Adam’s shoulders to steady him and seeing the look in his eyes as he did so. ‘What’s wrong? Has something happened?’</p>
<p>‘Toby,’ Adam gasped out as he tried to catch his breath. ‘He just heard, Kevin’s dead.’</p>
<p>Xander blinked in shock, for a moment completely uncomprehending of what Adam was saying. ‘What? I just saw him yesterday, he was fine.’</p>
<p>‘I know,’ Adam replied, sounding confused himself. ‘Van said the same thing and she saw him earlier today. Sorry, I gotta go, Toby needs me.’</p>
<p>Xander nodded numbly at Adam’s retreating back. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. Kevin had been distracted and tired, but otherwise fine. His injury was bad, but not that bad, with no signs of infection. It didn’t make any sense. Frowning slightly, Xander slipped out the back door of the Dante instead of heading into the kitchen and fell into a jog towards the hospital.</p>
<p>Xander knew full well that the doctors wouldn’t tell him anything, nor would they allow visitors, so he would have to find his own way into the hospital. Jogging around the hospital, away from the main entrance, Xander spotted a second entrance on the side of the building, marked morgue, which was exactly where he needed to be. </p>
<p>Carefully sliding up to the door and kneeling before it, Xander was suddenly glad that he’d once decided to learn how to pick a lock. It was something he and Jesse had learned together when they were kids, and both had been good at it. It took Xander barely any time to pick the lock on the door and slip inside, glancing around himself carefully to be sure he wasn’t seen.</p>
<p>Slipping through the hallways towards the main morgue where Kevin would be, Xander frowned as he realised someone was already there. He slipped up to the door, glancing through the glass while he pushed the door open slightly so that he could hear. It was a man, and definitely not someone who worked for the hospital. Xander guessed he was either late twenties or early thirties but couldn’t be sure as the man had his back to Xander. He was standing over a specific hospital trolley, and Xander could just make out Kevin’s face, eyes closed.</p>
<p>‘How?’ The man suddenly spoke in a whisper that Xander could only just hear. ‘Why have you passed on?’ Xander frowned at the phrasing and accent, which both seemed off to him in some way he couldn’t quite place. ‘You breath strength and energy into me. You restored more than just form. Hope. A momentous reason to live again.’</p>
<p>The man leaned down and kissed Kevin’s still mouth tenderly. Xander frowned as he tried to piece this all together. </p>
<p>‘And yet my powers,’ the man continued, ‘they are still not…they are not strong enough.’ Xander’s frown deepened at this, this man that had powers that must be magic. He moved back from the door slightly as a woman entered from the door on the other side of the room, the one that led into the main hospital. This woman was familiar to Xander, the older woman from his dream. The man seemed to have sensed her presence as he straightened. ‘It has been a very, very long time,’ he stated before turning to face the newcomer.</p>
<p>‘Has it?’ The woman asked, though she obviously knew the answer already.</p>
<p>‘I should have known,’ the man told her. ‘I finally found someone…’</p>
<p>‘Ooh, how touching,’ the woman interrupted. ‘To fall in love with the one who set you free.’ This caused Xander to start wondering what the man had needed freed from and how Kevin was involved. He didn’t seem the type to get involved in magic. ‘Did you really think that you would spent eternity with this…deviant?’ The woman asked, sounding angry. ‘Did you ever think about my feelings?’</p>
<p>The two were circling each other now as the man replied. ‘You are devoid of feelings.’</p>
<p>‘Oh, how wrong you are Ambrosius,’ the woman told him, giving Xander a name for the man he was only catching brief glimpses of. He seemed familiar, though Xander was sure they had never met. That way of speaking, that odd lilt to the accent, he would remember that. ‘How wrong you are. While we were apart, I never once stopped thinking of you, not even for a moment,’ the woman informed Ambrosius, sounding both accusatory and sad. She had the same way of speaking and the same accent as Ambrosius, though lessened somehow. ‘It was as though…as though you…you were dead,’ the woman paused slightly before continuing. ‘Is it not fair and just that you should feel just a bit of the ugliness, the detestation that I felt?’ She sounded angry now. ‘If only you could love me. Save yourself a lifetime of torture.’</p>
<p>The man, Ambrosius, appeared to be struggling to hold on to his anger as he replied. ‘It is torture being this close to you.’</p>
<p>‘Then I am but a fool to think you could love me,’ the woman said, sadly. ‘Or that you might want me back?’ There was a slight hint of hope in her voice as she finished the question.</p>
<p>‘Never!’ Ambrosius declared vehemently.</p>
<p>‘Then I shall send you back,’ the woman told him.</p>
<p>‘I am not going back!’ Ambrosius declared angrily. ‘I served my sentence.’ Xander’s eyebrows rose at this. What sentence? For what crime?</p>
<p>‘Oh, your sentence has barely just begun,’ the woman snarled at him. As she finished speaking, Ambrosius suddenly lunged forward and wrapped his hands around the woman’s neck. Xander was about to run in and help her when she started laughing. That wasn’t normal and caused Xander to halt his movement. He watched closely as Ambrosius applied more and more pressure, but the woman simply continued to laugh. </p>
<p>The woman stopped laughing suddenly and moved her arms in a way that broke the grip Ambrosius had on her, it was a move Xander had seen Buffy do in the past, but not one that he had ever seen work for anyone other than her when it was a woman against a man. Xander flinched slightly as the woman suddenly kicked out at Ambrosius, sending him to the floor, apparently out cold. The power this woman had seemed very reminiscent of Slayers to Xander, but that was an explanation he knew he could rule out. There were only two, and both were in Sunnydale.</p>
<p>The woman knelt slowly at Ambrosius’ side and gently caressed his face for a brief moment before speaking. ‘I need you,’ she whispered to the still man on the floor. ‘If only you knew. The warmth I feel to your touch. When your lips kissed mine. What a fool, damsel heart.‘ The woman’s voice switched suddenly from soft and caring to angry and bitter. ‘You betrayed me, I…I have to send you back.’</p>
<p>Ambrosius suddenly leapt up from the floor, grabbing the woman by the neck as he did, pushing her down to the ground beneath him, and squeezing. Xander flinched as the woman screamed, a scream that only stopped when the woman lost consciousness. The man knelt back on his heels for a moment, looking down at the woman, before picking her up, glancing once, longingly, at the still form of Kevin, before leaving, taking the woman with her.</p>
<p>Xander frowned as he entered the room. He thought that he probably should have intervened when the man, Ambrosius, revealed himself to be conscious, but he had seen his face properly for the first time as it caught in the light from the window. Xander had now officially met, or at least seen, all of the people from his dream. He also could not deny the draw he felt to this man, even stronger than the draw he felt to Adam. But this Ambrosius was involved with magic, something Xander was trying to stay away from. Although, maybe this man could help Xander? If he knew enough about magic, maybe he knew of or could find a way to break Willow’s curse.</p>
<p>Xander moved slowly through the room, towards Kevin, as he thought. His mind was focused inwards and his eyes were still on the door that Ambrosius had left through, carrying the as yet unnamed woman. And what sort of name was Ambrosius, anyway? Xander thought to himself. He didn’t think anyone would name their kid something like that anymore.</p>
<p>Xander yelped suddenly and loudly as he fell back onto the floor on his ass as Kevin suddenly sat up, gasping for breath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Eleven</p>
<p>Xander sat on the floor of the hospital morgue, staring dumbly up at the recently dead Kevin. The only times he’d seen someone dead wake up they had either been a vampire or Buffy. But the sunlight was hitting Kevin directly on his chest, so he couldn’t be a vampire. And Kevin had been dead for at least a couple of hours based on the fact that the hospital had informed Toby, they’d have contacted Kevin’s family first. So, CPR wouldn’t have worked like with Buffy, especially since Xander had been here a while and hadn’t seen anyone even try. Which left magic, some kind of spell.</p>
<p>Kevin lurched suddenly off the hospital trolley he was on, the white sheet slipping to the floor as he did, giving Xander an eyeful of Kevin’s now exposed dick. Despite the situation, Xander found himself blushing and scrambling for the sheet to once more cover Kevin’s nakedness. Kevin himself just blinked at him in confusion before looking around, obviously trying to place where he was. He was swaying slightly and Xander gently guided him into a sitting position on the floor next to him.</p>
<p>‘Where am I?’ Kevin asked, hoarsely. ‘What happened? Where’s Toby?’ He coughed slightly, and Xander stood up, spotting a sink in the corner. He was about to get a glass of water when Kevin grasped weakly at his shirt. ‘Don’t go!’ He pleaded.</p>
<p>‘Don’t worry, buddy,’ Xander reassured gently. ‘I’m just gonna get you some water, I’ll be right back, promise.’</p>
<p>Kevin nodded reluctantly, rubbing at his throat, so Xander gently extracted himself and jogged to the sink, quickly filling a glass with water and walking back to Kevin.</p>
<p>‘Here you go, buddy, drink slowly okay?’ Xander held the glass as Kevin nodded slightly, keeping it stable as Kevin took slow sips of water until the glass was half empty. Xander gently placed the glass on the floor next to them as Kevin indicated he’d had enough for now. ‘Okay, now, what’s the last thing you remember?’</p>
<p>‘I was on the beach,’ Kevin told him, looking around in confusion once more. ‘With Toby. Where am I? How did I get here?’ there was a slight hint of fear as Kevin asked his last question. </p>
<p>Xander bit his lip and debated how best to tell Kevin what had happened. It didn’t feel right to lie, but Kevin knew nothing of magic and his last memory was from a week ago. ‘You got hurt,’ Xander told him slowly, trying to remember what Toby had told them. ‘Your wrist, I don’t know how but the doctors thought it was self-inflicted.’ Xander placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder as he went to interrupt, smiling reassuringly at him. ‘It’s okay, neither me nor Toby believe you did it to yourself.’ Xander waited until Kevin accepted this. ‘You’ve been in the hospital for a week,’ Xander revealed, gently.</p>
<p>Kevin’s eyes widened in shock. ‘A week?’ he asked, his voice quavering slightly. ‘Why don’t I remember?’</p>
<p>‘I don’t know,’ Xander admitted. ‘You’ve been conscious. Tired but awake, I’ve visited twice. Van and Toby have visited too, though I don’t know how often. You seemed mostly fine, just weak and tired.’</p>
<p>‘But this isn’t a hospital room,’ Kevin pointed out, gesturing at the room around them.</p>
<p>‘No, this is the hospital morgue,’ Xander admitted. He continued quickly when Kevin’s breathing sped up in panic. ‘It’s ok. I mean. It’s not, but it will be. The doctor’s said you died. They must have made a mistake.’</p>
<p>‘How could they make a mistake like that?’ Kevin demanded angrily, but his voice was weak, and he was trembling. Xander thought from a mix of weakness, shock and anger.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know,’ Xander admitted, and he hated not having the answers to these questions. ‘Maybe your heartbeat and breathing were just to slow for the machines to pick up or something. I’m not a doctor, but I do have a friend who’s in a coma, and at one point the doctor’s thought they’d lost her cause her heart was beating too slow for the machines to pick up.’ Xander discreetly crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping Kevin would believe him.</p>
<p>Kevin took a minute to think about this before reluctantly nodding. Xander breathed out slightly in relief. He wasn’t sure if Kevin actually believed him or was just too weak and tired to really think about it, but he was going to count it as a win. ‘Where’s Toby?’ Kevin asked again.</p>
<p>‘I’m not sure, last I knew he was at the Dante. Why don’t we find you some clothes and get you to the doctor? Then we can call Toby. What do you say?’</p>
<p>Kevin nodded before looking down at himself and blushing. It seemed he hadn’t realised he was naked apart from the sheet. ‘Uh, where are my clothes?’</p>
<p>‘No clue,’ Xander admitted cheerfully. ‘But I’m sure there’s something around here you can wear. Will you be okay for a sec while I have a look?’</p>
<p>Kevin nodded once more, fidgeting slightly with the sheet, so Xander stood and started searching through the doors and cupboards until he found a pair of pants Kevin could wear. He moved back over to Kevin and helped him pull the pants on, ignoring the embarrassment and frustration that was clear on Kevin’s face as he did so. Then he slipped an arm around Kevin’s waist and gently helped him stand.</p>
<p>Kevin made an attempt to pull away from Xander and walk on his own, but he swayed and almost fell, so Xander wrapped his arm around Kevin’s waist firmly, and guided him out of the morgue and into the hospital proper.</p>
<p>As they neared the main wards and the entrance, Xander could hear someone banging on the front doors. At this time of night, the doors were locked to all but staff and incoming patients. Xander could just make out voices but could only make out words from the inside of the building, the doctor stating visiting hours were over. </p>
<p>Finally rounding the corner, and coming into view of the main doors, Xander blinked in shock as he realised it was Van and Toby banging on the doors. He switched his attention back to Kevin quickly as the man suddenly slumped against him, leaving Xander to take his full weight. He sighed in relief as the doctor and a nurse jumped in to help, quickly guiding Kevin over to a bed and firing questions at Xander that he couldn’t answer. He just shrugged slightly in response.</p>
<p>Realising the doctor and nurse were fully focused on Kevin but ignoring Kevin’s continuous pleas for Toby, Xander slipped over to the main door and quickly let in Van and Toby. </p>
<p>‘What the hell happened?’ Van asked him.</p>
<p>‘No clue,’ Xander replied. ‘When I found him, he was awake. Confused though, he seems to be missing a week’s worth of memories. He said something about being on the beach with you, Toby.’</p>
<p>‘The night of the party?’ Toby asked in shock. ‘He doesn’t even remember getting hurt?’</p>
<p>‘No, nothing. I’m only glad I was here. I’m not sure how long it would have taken him to get to the doctor otherwise.’</p>
<p>‘Why were you here?’ Van asked suspiciously. </p>
<p>‘Adam told me what happened,’ Xander told her. ‘I have a friend who’s in a coma, and the doctors almost declared her dead once cause her heartbeat was so slow. I just, I guess I wanted to be sure. Too much hope maybe. I’ve lost too many friends already.’ Xander looked away from Van and Toby, both looking sympathetic, and found himself glad that he’d already thought up that lie about Faith to tell Kevin. It made it easier to repeat it now. He was sure Faith would understand, it’s not like she had a problem with lying when it suited her.</p>
<p>The three straightened slightly as the doctor joined them. ‘He appears to be fine,’ the doctor told them, the surprise and confusion clear in his voice despite his attempt to hide it. ‘I can’t explain what happened here, but I can assure you that we will investigate. Normally we don’t allow visitors at this time but we’re willing to make an exception, just for tonight. He keeps asking for Toby?’</p>
<p>‘That’s him,’ Xander informed the doctor, pointing over at Toby, who was already starting to head over to Kevin’s room. Toby stopped and looked back at the doctor, slight guilt in his eyes. </p>
<p>‘Go ahead, son,’ the doctor told him. ‘You can stay with him tonight, but after that it will be normal visiting hours, understood?’</p>
<p>‘Understood,’ Toby replied gratefully. He tossed a set of keys over to Van. ‘Why don’t you head back to the Dante? I promise to tell you everything tomorrow.’</p>
<p>‘Sure,’ Van replied. ‘Look after Kevin.’ She smiled softly at Toby before turning and heading back out of the hospital. Xander squeezed Toby’s shoulder slightly with a smile before following Van, who had stopped just outside and was looking around with a slight frown. ‘How did you get here? I don’t see your car.’</p>
<p>Xander blinked in shock before slapping a hand to his forehead. ‘Damn, I completely forgot I had a car! After a month living out of the thing, you’d think I’d remember that!’</p>
<p>Van giggled, quickly attempting to stifle it and failing. Xander mock glared at the girl as her giggling turned into full blown laughter at his expense.</p>
<p>‘Laugh it up, pixie,’ he grumbled at her. ‘You mind giving me a ride? I’m exhausted and don’t fancy walking back.’</p>
<p>Van’s laughter died down into giggles once more, nodding happily and skipping over to Toby’s car, Xander following just behind her. As the two got into the car, Van paused before starting the ignition. ‘Did you just call me pixie?’ She asked him incredulously.</p>
<p>‘Yep,’ Xander replied. </p>
<p>‘Why?’ Van asked, bewildered.</p>
<p>‘Cause that’s what you remind me of,’ Xander admitted with a shrug.</p>
<p>Van tilted her head as she started the car. ‘Is that a good thing?’</p>
<p>‘Of course,’ Xander replied. ‘Pixies are cute and mischievous.’</p>
<p>‘Okay then,’ Van grinned at him as she drove them back to the Dante.</p>
<p>It only took a few minutes to drive back, making Xander once more grumble about forgetting his car. Once Van had parked, the two said good night to each other and separated, heading to their own rooms.</p>
<p>Xander yawned slightly as he entered his room and closed the door behind him, kicking of his shoes as he did so. He dropped his wallet and phone on the desk, switching on the light as he turned towards his bed.</p>
<p>For the second time that day, Xander yelped and fell backwards, this time hitting the door behind him instead of the floor. After pulling himself back up into a standing position, rubbing absently at his now aching back, Xander blinked stupidly at Adam sitting on his bed, arms crossed over his naked chest, looking between Xander and the book on his lap, one of the books from Angel’s collection.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Twelve</p>
<p>‘Uh, hey?’ Xander greeted in confusion. ‘What are you doing in here? And at this time of night? Last I saw you; you were heading up to comfort Toby.’</p>
<p>‘He fell asleep,’ Adam informed him. ‘Had some kind of dream and rushed off with Van. What is this?’</p>
<p>‘Why have you been going through my things?’ Xander returned, knowing that the book Adam was holding had still been in his bag next to his desk, he hadn’t gotten to the Latin books yet.</p>
<p>Adam had the decency to look slightly guilty. ‘I was curious. You’ve been spending a lot of time alone in your room this past week.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, well, you’ve been ignoring me, and Toby and Van have been busy worrying about Kevin. Who’s not dead, by the way. At least not anymore.’ The last sentence was said quietly, Xander didn’t even realise it had been said aloud and only realised when Adam looked at him in shock.</p>
<p>‘What do you mean, not anymore? Was he dead or not?’</p>
<p>Xander sighed tiredly and sat in the chair by his desk, rubbing at his eyes. ‘The doctors said he was. I wanted to be sure, so I went to the hospital. He woke up while I was there.’</p>
<p>‘So, the doctors made a mistake?’ Adam asked. ‘Or are you going to tell me it was magic?’</p>
<p>Xander frowned at Adam, bristling at the mockery in his voice. He shouldn’t be so defensive, hadn’t he reacted much the same way after hearing Buffy and Giles talking about vampires? ‘What book is that anyway? I haven’t read that one yet.’</p>
<p>Adam blinked at the change of topic, frowning as he looked down at the cover of the book in his lap. ‘Uh, Mayakovsky’s Magicae Indice Scriptorum Prohibitorum Annumerentur.’ Adam struggled slightly with the pronunciation as he read. He started flipping through the pages once he was done. ‘What’s that mean?’</p>
<p>Xander thought about it for a moment, flipping through his Latin translator that Angel had made up for him, which included translations for all the titles of the books written in Latin. ‘Mayakovsky’s Index of Forbidden Magic,’ Xander informed Adam once he’d found the right title in Angel’s neat calligraphic handwriting.</p>
<p>‘Huh, so some magic is forbidden. Do they have, like, judges or something for people who use it?’</p>
<p>‘I don’t know actually,’ Xander admitted. ‘I never looked into it, I mostly avoid magic when I can, have done ever since the love spell incident.’</p>
<p>‘Love spell incident?’ Adam enquired curiously, blinking up at Xander, his head tilted slightly to the side like a curious kitten.</p>
<p>‘Doesn’t matter, it’s not important and I learned my lesson about messing with magic. Something Willow still hasn’t learned.’</p>
<p>Adam cocked his head to the side as he watched Xander clean up the mess that Adam had made of his desk. ‘Is that why you keep ignoring her calls? She did something with magic you don’t agree with?’ Adam looked down as Xander’s eyes darkened in anger at being reminded of what Willow did. Xander looked away guiltily, not having meant to make Adam think he was angry at him. ‘What’s maledicendum in castratione do?’ Adam asked, obviously trying to change the subject.</p>
<p>Xander choked slightly, recognising these words as he’d come across this curse once before himself and had asked Giles the same thing. ‘That’s a castration curse,’ Xander informed Adam happily, a slight grin on his face.</p>
<p>Adam yelped, jumped up quickly from the bed, tossing the book backwards as he did so. He hit the floor hard and scrambled towards Xander and away from the bed and the book. Xander practically howled with laughter. ‘It’s not funny!’ Adam declared hotly, glaring at Xander.</p>
<p>‘There are no spells in that book, Adam,’ Xander informed him, still giggling. ‘Just names and descriptions, sometimes a history. You weren’t gonna get suddenly magically castrated.’</p>
<p>Adam blushed in embarrassment and stood up, leaning against the desk next to Xander instead of returning to the bed. ‘Well I didn’t know that, did I?’</p>
<p>Xander was still giggling as he moved over to the bed to pick up the book. ‘Don’t worry Adam. I came across that curse a couple years ago and asked someone what it meant. My reaction was pretty much the same as yours.’</p>
<p>Adam nodded slightly as he sat down in the chair Xander had just vacated. ‘Why are you looking through this stuff anyway? Not saying I believe in magic, but why are you looking through books of curses? Who are you trying to curse?’</p>
<p>‘I’m not trying to curse anyone,’ Xander told him. ‘I’m trying to break a curse.’ Xander went to close the book when he spotted the word immortalium on the page the book had flipped to. He moved over next to Adam and placed the book on the desk, grabbing Angel’s translator as he did so. ‘And if you don’t believe in magic, why did you think just reading a title would curse you?’</p>
<p>Adam blushed slightly once more at being reminded. ‘Are you saying it was magic that brought Kevin back? Doesn’t sound like a curse, nor does it explain you looking at this stuff before he died.’</p>
<p>Xander sighed slightly, biting his lip as he translated the page while still talking to Adam, suddenly glad he’d had three years of practice at researching and holding a conversation at the same time. ‘Yes, I think someone brought Kevin back with magic. I made up some stuff about his heartbeat being too slow for the machines, but no way does a doctor make that kind of mistake and not realise even hours later. Plus, I overheard a conversation that mentioned magic right before Kevin woke up, and Kevin’s lost a week of memories, last thing he remembers is the night of the party.’ Xander looked up at Adam, who was paying close attention to what Xander was saying which wasn’t something Xander was used to. He thought the last person to pay attention to him like this was Ampata nearly two years ago. ‘But it’s not a curse on Kevin I’m trying to break,’ Xander admitted reluctantly. It felt weird to trust Adam, they barely knew each other, but Xander was just so lonely. He needed someone, other than Angel, that he could talk to. ‘I’m the one who’s cursed,’ he said quietly, looking back down at the book in front of him to avoid seeing Adam’s reaction. ‘And I think I’ve found the curse as well.’</p>
<p>‘Well, that’s good, right? Means you can break it?’ </p>
<p>Xander looked back up at Adam, surprised to hear sympathy in his voice, even more surprised to realise that Adam believed him. ‘Not according to this,’ Xander admitted. ‘It says, Domini Maladiciti Habitatoribus Immortalium Inventioni, that’s the name of the curse, Curse of the Deathless. Then it says, Maledictus qui dederit immortalitatum optare mortem istam. Conantes Sanatoribus uti in auxilio et funesta a principio, et contra maledicta congesseris diu perdidit et vetiti dulcedine ac uexatione insigne cum execratione maledicta congessit.’ Xander sighed despairingly as he looked back at Adam. ‘Basically, it means that the curse was used by healers wanting to help suicidal patients, prevent them killing themselves before they could treat them. But they lost the counter, so the spell was forbidden and rebranded as a curse.’</p>
<p>‘Does that mean you’re immortal or something?’ Adam asked, and there was disbelief in his voice once more.</p>
<p>‘Pretty much,’ Xander admitted. ‘I wouldn’t have realised, despite the number of dangerous situations I get in, I rarely get hurt and never badly.’</p>
<p>‘So how did you realise?’ Adam asked, sounding suspicious.</p>
<p>‘I didn’t try to kill myself,’ Xander told him, guessing what Adam was thinking. He was proved right when Adam looked down guiltily. ‘At least, not since I was fifteen anyway.’ Adam looked back up in shock at this admission. Xander just shook his head, he didn’t want to talk about that yet.</p>
<p>Adam swallowed and nodded, looking down once more. ‘So, how did you realise then?’</p>
<p>Xander stood up and walked over to the window, staring out into the night as he spoke. ‘There was this battle, our Mayor had turned himself into a demon. We had a plan to kill him, that was Buffy’s part. I was leading the students, fighting against the vampires the Mayor had brought as back up. I don’t really remember most of it, it’s all a blur of screaming and blood. But I remember the sudden pain as the curse took hold. I didn’t know what it was then, just that it hurt like hell. Next think I know; I’ve been run through with a sword. Only when the vamp pulls back, the wound just heals. Not even a scar to show it had happened.’</p>
<p>Xander jumped slightly as Adam placed his hand on Xander’s shoulder from behind. ‘I’ll come back to the demons and vampires’ part later,’ he told Xander with a raised eyebrow. ‘But that must have been scary. And confusing.’</p>
<p>Xander shrugged slightly, leaning back into Adam without really realising he was doing so. ‘You kinda get used to it,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve been fighting the supernatural for three years. Kind of goes with the territory when you’re friends with a Slayer.’</p>
<p>‘Something else to talk about later, slayers,’ Adam informed him and Xander realised he was serious. Adam actually wanted to know about all of this stuff. He nodded to let Adam know they would talk about it, but not tonight. ‘Are you okay?’ Adam’s voice was quiet and Xander could detect real concern there.</p>
<p>‘I guess,’ Xander shrugged uncomfortably. ‘Not the answer I wanted. But I think I kinda already knew. I knew that book probably had the right curse, but I put off reading it. Focused on the Old English books even though they give me a headache.’</p>
<p>Adam gripped Xander’s shoulder a little tighter and guided him over to sit on the bed. Adam sat next to him, wrapping his arm around Xander’s shoulders as he did. ‘You really want to die though?’ Adam’s voice was still quiet, and Xander thought he sounded a little hurt. </p>
<p>‘Kind of always have,’ Xander admitted, speaking just as quietly as Adam now. ‘Sometimes I feel okay, you know? Like something good is coming, or I’ve got something to look forward to. That’s actually how I felt right before Graduation, knowing I’d gotten into college here. But it never really lasts. I want to do something good with my life, that’s part of the reason I helped Buffy these last three years. I want to make a difference to at least one person, you know?’ Xander shrugged, uncomfortably. ‘But there’s always that part of me, sometimes it’s big, sometimes it’s small, but it’s always there. And that part of me just wants it to be over already. All the pain and the blood, all the death and fighting. That’s been my whole life, even before I knew about the supernatural. Never really feels like there’s much of anything worth living for.’</p>
<p>‘People would miss you if you were gone,’ Adam told him.</p>
<p>‘Would they?’ Xander asked. ‘Jesse and Larry were the only people who really knew me back home. Everyone else just saw the mask. Cordy came close while we were dating, and Faith probably does too, but she’d never admit it. But none of them are in my life anymore. Jesse and Larry are dead, Faith’s in a coma she may never wake from and Cordy hates me.’ Xander looked over at Adam, confused about why he was revealing all this. ‘Who else is there?’</p>
<p>‘There’s me,’ Adam revealed quietly. His arm on Xander’s shoulder was shaking slightly. ‘I’d miss you.’</p>
<p>‘You barely know me,’ Xander reminded him.</p>
<p>‘I know enough,’ Adam whispered before leaning in and capturing Xander’s mouth in a gentle kiss, just lips, before pulling away again, looking terrified.</p>
<p>Xander reached over, blinking slightly in shock as he wrapped a hand round the back of Adam’s head and pulled him back towards himself. The kiss this time was hungry, tongues battling each other, fighting for dominance. Adam’s hands roamed, suddenly urgent, all over Xander’s back, reaching down and squeezing Xander’s ass. Xander’s hand came between them, sliding down and palming Adam’s dick through his jeans. Adam’s hips bucked up, grinding into Xander’s palm. </p>
<p>Xander suddenly found himself lying flat on his back, Adam on top of him. The kiss broke and Adam trailed light kisses along Xander’s jaw, pushing Xander’s shirt up. Adam sat up, still on top of Xander, pulling Xander’s shirt over his head and throwing it carelessly to the floor, shortly followed by his own shirt. Xander’s eyes and hands roamed over Adam’s now exposed chest, pinching at the nipples, hips bucking up in response to Adam’s moan of pleasure. They reached down together, unzipping each other’s jeans, awkwardly pushing them down and off, taking their shoes with them, before falling backwards onto the bed once more. Xander found himself moaning and bucking as Adam trailed harsh kisses and licks down his chest and stomach. He spread his legs on instinct alone as Adam’s hands reached down, skimming over his dick and balls, heading straight between his legs. </p>
<p>Xander vaguely decided that he would deny for the rest of his life ever making the high-pitched whine he made as Adam’s moth wrapped around his dick at the same time as he slipped a single finger into his ass. Xander found himself lost to sensation after that, the feel of Adam’s tongue and mouth wrapping around and sliding over his dick, the silky feel of Adam’s hair between his fingers, the deliciously painful pleasure of Adam’s fingers in his ass, twisting and stretching. He moaned in displeasure as Adam’s fingers suddenly disappeared, his mouth moving from his dick and back up his body. His legs spread wider as Adam positioned himself between his legs and thrust in without any further preparation. Xander yelped at the sudden pain of the intrusion but wrapped his legs high around Adam’s waist, heels against Adam’s ass, encouraging him without words to move deep and fast, as he recaptured Adam’s mouth in a searing kiss, full of heat and lust and desperation and loneliness. </p>
<p>Xander found it strangely fitting that his and Adam’s bodies moved together so easily, predicting each other’s desire and moving to accommodate it. Xander’s back arched, his blunt fingernails scratching down Adam’s back, slick with sweat, causing Adam to arch with him, as Adam’s dick hit something deep inside Xander. ‘Fuck, yes!’ Xander heard himself yell, as his eyes closed in pleasure, fireworks darting behind his eyelids, what felt like pure magic floating through his entire body, increasing the feeling of Adam’s hand gripping his hip tight enough to bruise, catching a slight glimpse as his eyes briefly opened of Adam’s white knuckles wrapped around the headboard of the bed. </p>
<p>The feel of Adam’s mouth, teeth and tongue on Xander’s neck combined with the continuous thrusts of Adam’s dick, always hitting that same magical spot of pure pleasure, overwhelmed Xander’s senses. He could focus on nothing else but the feel of Adam, over, around and in him. His hands fell down from Adam’s back, gripping at Adam’s ass just as hard as Adam gripped at Xander’s hip as he felt Adam’s body start to tremble on top of him. Xander’s pleasure peaked at this, his back arched once more as he came, hard, between himself and Adam, his ass clenching hard around Adam’s dick. He felt Adam’s body go tense, his thrusts became shallower and faster, then Adam was arching backwards, away from Xander, head thrown back slightly, eyes closed, face showing nothing but ecstasy as he came inside Xander.</p>
<p>The two fell to the bed, unwrapping themselves from each other, Adam pulling out of Xander, until they lay side by side, breathless and sated, eyes closed. Adam shifted slightly, so that his arm wrapped loosely around Xander’s waist, head resting on Xander’s shoulder, as his breath evened out into sleep. Xander blinked once, twice, wrapped his arm around Adam’s shoulder, breathing deeply, catching just a hint of the apple scent of what must have been Adam’s shampoo as he buried his face in Adam’s hair. His mind was blissfully blank of everything but the pleasure he had just experienced as he closed his eyes once more and let sleep claim him as it had Adam.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Thirteen</p>
<p>Xander started to come awake slowly that morning, from a deep sleep, a kind of sleep he had never experienced before. For a brief moment, he couldn’t quite remember where he was, or why there was a heavy weight on his right side, causing a numbness in his arm. He shifted slightly, turning his head to look. The night came rushing back to him in an instant as he caught sight of Adam’s still sleeping form, face peaceful in the early morning light filtering through the window, combining with the glow of the light they hadn’t turned off the night before. </p>
<p>Xander could only blink in shock as he remembered everything he had revealed to Adam. Some of the things he’d said the night before he had never told anyone before, or just Jesse. He’d never trusted anyone else enough to do so. What was it about Adam that drew him in? Xander wondered. That made him want to open up and trust? Was it all because of that dream, or was it something about Adam? </p>
<p>Xander felt himself tighten his grip on Adam’s shoulder with his mostly numb, slightly tingly, right arm as Adam shifted and started to wake. He ran his free hand gently over the arm Adam had slung over his waist, hoping Adam wouldn’t freak out too badly. This had been the first time he’d ever had sex with a man. He didn’t know about Adam, but he seemed sure he was straight, so Xander didn’t think he’d had sex with another man before, at least not full sex. Cory had insinuated a few things, but Xander wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not.</p>
<p>Adam blinked sleepily as he woke fully, looking up at Xander with adorably confused eyes. Xander couldn’t help but grin slightly at the sight, but the grin faded as Adam’s eyes widened in fear, and he practically jumped out of the bed, away from Xander, yelping and looking around for his discarded clothes.</p>
<p>Xander pulled himself into a sitting position, watching Adam scramble to find his pants. ‘Adam, it’s okay,’ he told the panicking man quietly.</p>
<p>‘I’m not gay!’ Adam almost yelled back, locating his pants and pulling them on hurriedly, almost tripping as he did so.</p>
<p>‘Never said you were,’ Xander replied, standing and stretching, not bothering to hide his nudity when he realised Adam couldn’t help but look at him, blushing furiously as he froze, eyes seemingly stuck, staring at Xander’s naked form before him. Xander walked casually over to Adam, blushing slightly himself, not used to being naked in front of other people like this. He gently used a single finger to life Adam’s chin so that they were looking into each other’s eyes, leaned in and placed a soft and brief, chaste kiss against Adam’s slightly open mouth. ‘Thank you,’ he whispered.</p>
<p>‘For what?’ Adam asked, voice shaking slightly, though Xander couldn’t tell if it was fear or something else.</p>
<p>‘For last night,’ Xander told him. ‘For listening, for believing. I needed that; I just didn’t know it.’ Xander pulled Adam into a hug, Adam’s hands sliding awkwardly on his back, as if he weren’t sure what to do with them, where to place them. ‘And the rest too,’ Xander added in a slighter lighter tone. ‘Best night of my life, Faith will be so jealous.’</p>
<p>‘Really?’ Adam asked, voice laced with uncertainty. ‘I’ve never done…that…before. Can’t have been that good.’</p>
<p>‘Adam,’ Xander whispered into his ear, ‘I’ve never been with a guy before last night either. Faith was my first and only before you.’</p>
<p>Adam pulled away slightly, looking slightly away from Xander, fear still evident in his eyes. ‘I’m not gay,’ he whispered.</p>
<p>‘Neither am I,’ Xander told him. ‘Pretty sure I’m bi. But it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.’ Xander reached up and gently ran his hand through Adam’s messy hair, straightening it slightly. ‘Could be just a great night between friends if you want it to be. Not that I’d say no to a repeat performance, mind.’ He grinned at Adam’s blush, seeing it was coupled with a pleased little grin. Adam’s arms tightened suddenly around Xander’s waist, pulling him into a slight embrace, Adam hiding his face in Xander’s neck.</p>
<p>‘I don’t know what I want,’ Adam revealed nervously. ‘I know what I wanted last night, but today…’</p>
<p>‘Shh, it’s okay,’ Xander comforted, running his hand down Adam’s back in a gentle caress. ‘We’re friends, right? We at least know that.’</p>
<p>Adam nodded, his breath tickling against Xander’s neck and ear. ‘Definitely friends,’ he agreed.</p>
<p>‘Then why don’t we just leave the labels at that for now?’ Xander suggested. ‘You’ll figure everything else out when you’re ready.’</p>
<p>‘Okay,’ Adam mumbled, before pulling away from Xander again, this time fully. ‘We, you, should get dressed though. Don’t think Van will ignore us both disappearing suddenly.’</p>
<p>Xander grinned and nodded, doing as Adam suggested before the two of them headed downstairs in search of breakfast.</p>
<p>They didn’t see Van on their way, but they did run into Cory in the kitchen, looking like he hadn’t slept at all the night before. Xander and Adam both frowned at Cory, glancing at each other as they joined the other man.</p>
<p>‘You alright, man?’ Adam asked Cory. ‘You look like shit.’</p>
<p>‘I’m fine,’ Cory replied, slightly defensively to Xander’s ears. ‘Rough night.’</p>
<p>‘Looks like,’ Xander agreed. ‘Maybe you should get some sleep?’</p>
<p>‘No, I’m fine,’ Cory insisted. ‘Got things I need to do.’ With that, Cory left the room, glancing around himself as he did as though looking for someone.</p>
<p>‘That was weird, right?’ Xander asked.</p>
<p>Adam shrugged slightly. ‘Cory occasionally goes too far, it’s happened before. But he usually just sleeps it off.’ Adam was obviously trying to sound unconcerned, but Xander detected definite worry in his voice. </p>
<p>Xander bit his lip slightly. The dream was not something he’d revealed to Adam last night, he wasn’t sure if he were ready to talk to anyone but Angel about that. But this seemed connected somehow. The dream hinted that Cory couldn’t be saved, but Xander was determined to at least try. ‘Maybe I should go after him?’ he suggested. ‘Make sure he’s okay?’</p>
<p>‘Maybe,’ Adam shrugged. ‘You seem worried about him.’</p>
<p>‘I guess,’ Xander said vaguely. ‘Just with everything with Kevin, and that conversation I overheard. Seems very Sunnydale to me, unfortunately.’</p>
<p>‘Gonna trust your gut on this,’ Adam told him, with a slight nod as if he’d decided something. ‘You have experience with all this magic stuff. Maybe I can look into the conversation, or the people who had it, while you deal with Cory?’ He sounded slightly uncertain as he spoke, trying to hide it by not looking at Xander and focusing on the coffee he and Xander were now drinking.</p>
<p>‘I’d appreciate the help,’ Xander admitted quietly. ‘Not used to doing this stuff on my own.’</p>
<p>‘No problem,’ Adam told him, slight relief entering his voice, though Xander wasn’t sure why. ‘Anything you can remember that’ll get me started?’</p>
<p>Xander thought for a moment, pulling up the memory of the scene in the morgue. ‘Two people, a man and a woman,’ he told Adam. ‘Never got her name, but she called him Ambrosius. He said something about his powers, and Kevin restoring him. She said something about Kevin setting the guy free.’ Xander frowned slightly as he focused harder on the memory, trying to remember as much detail as possible. ‘She mentioned spending eternity with him. Sounded like she was in love with him but hated him too. Threatened a lifetime of torture. She said something about sending him back and he claimed he’d served his sentence. They fought, he eventually won and took her away.’ He looked up, opening his eyes to see Adam listening attentively, frowning in thought.</p>
<p>‘Ambrosius?’ Adam asked for clarification and Xander nodded. ‘Sounds like an old name, not sure anyone uses that name anymore.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, I agree. I got the feeling they were both older than they looked as well. I mean, they looked like they were in their thirties, but...’ Xander trailed off, not sure how to describe what he felt. </p>
<p>Adam nodded slightly, humming in thought. ‘I’ll start with the name, see how many people in Dante’s have been given it over the years. Start with the most recent.’</p>
<p>‘Sounds like a plan,’ Xander agreed. ‘Thanks, Adam. Not sure I could do all this alone.’</p>
<p>Adam blinked up at Xander. ‘Not a problem. That’s what friends are for, right?’ He grinned and Xander couldn’t help but grin back.</p>
<p>They separated after that, Adam heading over to the towns archives to search for anyone named Ambrosius and Xander heading out after Cory, hoping he found the man quickly.</p>
<p>Xander spent a frustrating few hours searching the island for Cory. Not knowing what was going on with the man, or what sort of danger he was in, Xander didn’t know where to even start looking. It was also more than possible that Cory popped up somewhere he’d already looked. He hoped Adam was having more success than he was as he entered the beach side bar, H2Eau, where Toby worked, hoping he’d seen Cory.</p>
<p>Xander was busy looking around at the bar’s customers, hoping Cory was actually there, and so he was blindsided when Toby threw himself over the bar and punched him in the face. ‘Ow!’ Xander yelped as he hit the floor, scrambling away from the obviously enraged Toby. ‘What the hell, man?’</p>
<p>‘Cory told me what you did,’ Toby snarled, pulling Xander up by the shirt and getting ready to throw another punch. ‘He told me you fucked Kevin!’</p>
<p>‘What?’ Xander growled as he grabbed both of Toby’s arms, preventing anymore punches from landing, staggering back into the table behind him, spinning round and pinning Toby against the table, arms locked between them. ‘I didn’t fuck Kevin; I haven’t even seen him since he woke up!’</p>
<p>‘Oh yeah?’ Toby snarled back. ‘Then what’s that on your neck?’ He indicated Xander’s neck with his head, struggling to free his arms from Xander’s iron grip.</p>
<p>Xander blinked in confusion. ‘There’s something on my neck?’</p>
<p>‘Think I gave you a hickey last night,’ Adam’s voice called suddenly from off to the side. Xander and Toby both blinked at each other, before looking over at the blushing Adam, who was fidgeting nervously, holding a stack of old newspapers in his hands. ‘Hey.’</p>
<p>‘What?’ Toby asked dumbly, his body going slack beneath Xander’s. Xander warily stepped back and let go of Toby’s arms, wincing slightly in sympathy as Toby absently rubbed at the spot he’d gripped so tightly. ‘You and Xander? Since when are you gay?’ There was a note of accusation in Toby’s voice.</p>
<p>‘I’m not,’ Adam declared defensively. ‘I don’t think,’ he mumbled, shrinking in on himself slightly and refusing to look at either Xander or Toby.</p>
<p>‘Why would Cory tell me you fucked Kevin if you didn’t?’ Toby demanded of Xander, throwing his hand up at Adam as if to say he’d deal with him later.</p>
<p>‘How the hell should I know?’ Xander returned. ‘I came here because I was looking for Cory, he’s acting weird.’ </p>
<p>Toby frowned slightly. ‘He did look like he was sick or something,’ he admitted.</p>
<p>Xander and Adam frowned at each other. Cory had looked awful that morning, but more tired than sick. It sounded like he was getting worse, and quickly. ‘Do you know where he went?’ Xander asked him urgently.</p>
<p>Toby frowned at him. ‘No,’ he admitted, sounding suspicious. ‘Just kept insisting Kevin had been cheating then left when I told him to.’</p>
<p>‘No way would Kevin cheat on you,’ Xander told him with a shake of his head. ‘He loves you; you can see it clear as day. What the hell is Cory playing at?’</p>
<p>‘Sounds like he’s trying to break them up,’ Adam said, moving over and leaning on the table next to Toby, arms crossed over his chest and finger tapping on the old newspapers he held. ‘But why? Cory hasn’t shown any signs of jealousy or that he’s into one of them.’</p>
<p>‘It doesn’t make sense,’ Xander agreed. ‘I’ve talked to Cory a fair bit this past week. He thinks they’re adorable together.’</p>
<p>‘Not that this isn’t fascinating,’ Toby interrupted with a roll of his eyes, crossing his own arms in agitation. ‘But what the hell is going on? First, you’re at the hospital, and now this.’</p>
<p>Xander blinked in shock at the accusation in Toby’s voice. ‘You think I have something to do with this?’</p>
<p>‘Well everything started getting weird when you arrived, didn’t it?’ Toby accused.</p>
<p>‘Which was right after Kevin arrived,’ Adam pointed out. Xander gave Adam a thankful smile for standing up for him.</p>
<p>‘Look,’ Xander started, holding his hands up in front of Toby, making sure he was paying attention. ‘I don’t know what’s going on, okay? It was coincidence I was at the hospital just as Kevin woke up, that’s it. I’m just worried about Cory right now, that’s all.’</p>
<p>‘You know something,’ Toby told him, the accusation disappearing from his voice, but certainty was clear.</p>
<p>Xander sighed, running a hand through his hair as he started to pace. ‘Not really,’ he admitted. ‘More that I’m suspicious. Look, I have experience with strange, okay? My hometown, strange stuff happened all the time. This feels the same, that’s all.’</p>
<p>‘That stuff you said at the hospital, that was a lie, wasn’t it?’ Toby asked. ‘Bet you don’t even have a friend in a coma.’</p>
<p>‘It was a partial lie,’ Xander replied hesitantly. ‘Faith is in a coma, but the rest I made up. I just needed an explanation that wouldn’t freak the hell out of Kevin, and it made sense to stick with it for you and the doctors.’</p>
<p>‘Okay,’ Toby told him. ‘But I want a full explanation about all this. Van keeps going on about magic and curses. Part of me believes it, but...’ Toby trailed off.</p>
<p>Xander frowned at him. ‘Part of you believes it? Why? In my experience, you either believe or you don’t.’</p>
<p>Toby glanced over at Adam before speaking. He seemed to be confused at Xander and Adam working together and being close. ‘I saw these kids. I thought it was a dream. But it’s why I went to the hospital.’</p>
<p>‘Kids?’ Xander asked in shock. ‘Boy and a girl?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah, how did you know that?’ Toby’s voice was sounding suspicious again.</p>
<p>‘Anything related to fire?’ Xander asked, ignoring Toby’s question.</p>
<p>Toby frowned slightly at the avoidance. ‘Yeah. I looked away and they were gone. But there were two piles of ash where they had been.’</p>
<p>‘Did they say anything more than once?’ Xander asked, his face going slightly whiter as he paced, hands rubbing at his chin.</p>
<p>‘Moon and water,’ Toby told him. ‘That’s the only thing they repeated.’</p>
<p>‘Fuck,’ Xander whispered. He jumped slightly as arms suddenly wrapped around his shoulders, stopping his pacing. He looked up into Adam’s concerned face.</p>
<p>‘What is it?’ Adam asked gently.</p>
<p>‘Right before I arrived, I had a dream,’ Xander admitted quietly, just loud enough for Toby to hear as well. ‘Those kids were in it. Kept saying the same thing over and over. Moon and water were repeated, but there was a bit more for me. Plus, they wanted me to help someone, but wouldn’t tell me who, just said I’d know.’</p>
<p>‘What else, apart from moon and water?’ Toby asked him.</p>
<p>‘White Knight, Grey Knight,’ Xander told him, burying his head in Adam’s chest, realising he was trembling slightly.</p>
<p>‘What does that mean?’ Toby asked, and Xander jumped when Toby’s hand landed on his back and started rubbing comfortingly.</p>
<p>Xander wrapped a shaking arm around Adam’s waist, needing the comfort right now, and looked up at Toby’s concerned face. ‘White Knight is something I’ve been called before,’ Xander admitted. ‘About a year and a half ago. It kinda stuck, a few others have called me that since. I don’t know about Grey Knight. They said I needed to let go of the white and become the grey, that I nearly had it on Graduation day. But I don’t know what it actually means.’</p>
<p>Xander looked up at Adam as he felt the man stiffen slightly. Adam’s face was lit up with slight realisation. ‘You told me,’ Adam whispered. Looking back at Xander he continued. ‘Last night, you told me about Graduation. How you led the other students.’</p>
<p>‘Yeah?’ Xander asked in confusion. ‘But that was hardly my first battle.’</p>
<p>‘You knew a lot were going to die,’ Adam gently told him.</p>
<p>Xander closed his eyes. ‘Angel said the same thing,’ he admitted. ‘I talked to him about it, just before the party. He said that if I’d fought the way I had even a year earlier, saving as many people as possible, then we’d have lost.’</p>
<p>‘You think that’s true?’ Adam asked him, rubbing Xander’s arms comfortingly, both of them ignoring the confused Toby.</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ Xander admitted quietly. ‘It came close to us losing in the past, because we focused on saving lives more than we should have. I knew I was gonna lose a lot of people in that fight. And I knew it was necessary. I have to live with that. I got them killed.’ Xander’s voice broke as he finished speaking, trying to stop the tears from falling. Angel was one thing, Toby was another, he didn’t want to cry in front of him. </p>
<p>Adam pulled Xander into a tight hug. ‘No, you didn’t,’ he told Xander quietly. ‘They knew, right? That they could die?’ Adam waited until he felt Xander’s nod before continuing. ‘It was their choice; they knew the risks. It’s not on you.’</p>
<p>Xander screwed his eyes closed tightly, face buried in Adam’s white shirt, willing the tears away. Eventually he nodded and pulled back slightly, wiping at his face and refusing to look at either of the other men. Adam kept his arms wrapped around Xander. ‘Not sure if I can be that version of me all the time,’ Xander admitted.</p>
<p>‘Who says it has to be all the time?’ Adam countered. ‘Just in battle, and man is it weird to say that!’</p>
<p>Xander laughed slightly. ‘Thanks,’ he whispered, then huffed slightly in mock annoyance. ‘Feels like I’m always thanking you today.’</p>
<p>Adam grinned slightly. ‘And you will again. I think I found your mystery man.’</p>
<p>‘Really?’ Xander asked. ‘Is that what these old newspapers are about?’</p>
<p>‘Yep,’ Adam replied, popping the ‘p’ and sounding immensely proud of himself. ‘We can go through them properly later, but they basically cover the disappearance of a man named Ambrosius Vallin and his mother’s quest for justice. She accused the Neville family of kidnapping or killing him. Ambrosius was declared dead after four years of no sign.’</p>
<p>‘Huh,’ Xander said in reply, slightly in shock. ‘Well, I guess we’re about to solve a murder mystery.’ Xander looked at the date on one of the newspapers. ‘A two-hundred-year-old one at that.’</p>
<p>Xander and Adam looked at each other and both found themselves grinning slightly, then laughing at Toby’s amused huff of mock annoyance.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter Fourteen</p>
<p>Xander and Adam split from Toby after only a brief further conversation. Toby had revealed to them that he and Van had been looking into the history of the town, focusing on the Hotel Dante more than anything else, trying to figure out what had happened to Kevin. Van had apparently found something though she hadn’t told Toby what it was. Even Adam didn’t know, and he’d been in the same building as Van for a few hours. Xander had eventually suggested that Toby go find out what Van had discovered while he and Adam continued looking for Cory.</p>
<p>Now Xander and Adam were getting more and more frustrated as they continuously failed to locate Cory. Xander couldn’t help but release a huff of mixed relief and frustration as they finally spotted Cory a few minutes away from the beach just as it was starting to get dark. </p>
<p>‘Cory!’ Adam yelled to get the other man’s attention as he and Xander jogged across the deserted road to catch up.</p>
<p>Cory spun quickly at the yell, almost tripping over his own feet. He blinked at them and to Xander it seemed like Cory only barely recognised them. He certainly looked worse than he had that morning, worse even that what Toby had described. Cory looked tired, sick and weak, as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. There were dark circles under his eyes, prominent against his pale skin. ‘What?’ Cory demanded aggressively, backing away slightly and looking around himself.</p>
<p>‘You alright, man?’ Xander asked in concern. ‘You look worse than last time we saw you.’</p>
<p>‘I’m fine,’ Cory insisted, crossing his arms defensively for a moment, before moving them again, placing them in his pockets, moving from foot to foot nervously, continuously looking around himself. ‘What do you want? I’m busy.’</p>
<p>Xander and Adam looked at each other, both getting more concerned by the moment. Cory wasn’t usually a dismissive person. Easily distracted, yes, but never dismissive. ‘What are you busy with?’ Adam asked him. ‘Maybe we could help.’</p>
<p>‘Got all the help I need,’ Cory replied with a nervous shrug. ‘Gotta meet my new guy.’</p>
<p>Xander’s eyebrows rose at this. Cory’s new guys generally only lasted a day or two and were only about sex. The way Cory said new guy now, it sounded like a lot more than that.</p>
<p>‘Who’s the guy?’ Adam asked, a tone of forced lightness and curiosity in his voice, but Xander could still hear the concern underneath.</p>
<p>‘Ambrosius,’ Cory replied, a smile appearing on his face. Xander felt that some would call it a loving smile, but to him it was closer to obsessive. It reminded him of the Sunnydale girls during the love spell incident.</p>
<p>‘I’ve seen him,’ Xander told Cory quietly. ‘At the hospital. He was visiting Kevin.’</p>
<p>‘Kevin’s nothing!’ Cory snarled suddenly. ‘He won’t last.’</p>
<p>Xander saw Adam blinking in shock at this. ‘For whom?’ Xander asked, head tilted to the side in thought. ‘Toby or Ambrosius?’</p>
<p>Cory stepped back slightly, looking nervous again, as if he thought he’d revealed too much. He shrugged and made as if to run off, but Adam cut him off.</p>
<p>‘Why are you trying to break Toby and Kevin up?’ Adam demanded. ‘We know you told Toby that Kevin and Xander fucked.’</p>
<p>‘Did you tell Kevin something similar about Toby?’ Xander asked. ‘Why? Cause this Ambrosius told you too?’</p>
<p>‘He needs Kevin,’ Cory admitted reluctantly. ‘But he won’t for long.’ Cory’s face took on that obsessive look again, and Xander suddenly realised what was wrong with Cory, it was far too similar to the love spell Amy had cast for him, but worse somehow. ‘He’ll realise it’s me he really wants.’</p>
<p>‘No, he won’t,’ Xander told him quietly. ‘He’s just using you. As soon as he gets what he wants, he’ll ditch you.’</p>
<p>‘No!’ Cory yelled angrily, shoving Adam away and into Xander before running off into the night. Adam and Xander both fell to the floor, tangled together, and by the time they got back to their feet, Cory was gone. They didn’t even know which direction he ran.</p>
<p>‘Well, that was interesting,’ a voice called from behind them, the Cockney drawl sounding amused.</p>
<p>Xander spun and then just blinked in shocked disbelief. ‘Spike!?’ he exclaimed. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’</p>
<p>‘Heard you were here, pet,’ Spike grinned cockily at him, a cigarette dangling from his lips, arms crossed over his chest. ‘Wanted to see what’d bring the Slayer’s lapdog all the way out to Tresum central.’</p>
<p>Xander frowned at the smirking vampire in front of him, suddenly wishing he had a stake. ‘I’m not Buffy’s lapdog,’ he growled angrily. ‘And what the hell is Tresum?’</p>
<p>‘You don’t know?’ Spike laughed suddenly at this. ‘Why d’you think there are no vamps here? Other than me, anyway.’</p>
<p>Xander felt Adam stiffen in fear next to him and sidle closer as if for protection. He laid a gentle hand on Adam’s arm and grinned reassuringly at him. ‘Why don’t you tell me?’ Xander suggested to the bleached menace.</p>
<p>‘Tresum’s a type of magic, luv,’ Spike told him with a slight shrug. ‘Reason I thought you’d avoid a place like this. Know you don’t like it.’</p>
<p>‘How come I’ve never heard of it before?’</p>
<p>‘They steer clear of Hellmouths and Slayers,’ Spike revealed. ‘Not sure even those Watcher blokes know much about them, they keep to themselves. Runs in families usually.’</p>
<p>‘Okay,’ Xander replied. ‘And what does that have to do with the lack of undead annoyances like you?’</p>
<p>‘While back, there was a group of vamps here. Ran the place, they did.’ Spike dropped his cigarette on the floor, crushing it with the heel of his boot as he moved closer to Adam and Xander. ‘Got banished by a Tresum coven to some other dimension. Only recently found their way back and won’t come near the place again. Most Tresum witches avoid it now too. The ones here are rogues, their leaders don’t approve.’</p>
<p>Xander groaned. ‘Got a name for this coven?’ he asked.</p>
<p>Spike thought for a moment, for some reason willing to be helpful right now. ‘Neville, I think,’ he told them.</p>
<p>Xander looked over at Adam. ‘Wasn’t Neville the family that was accused of killing Ambrosius?’</p>
<p>‘Yeah,’ Adam nodded in confirmation. ‘They also own the Dante. It used to be their home. They lost it for a while, but after a couple lost their kids, they got it back. Turned it into a hotel, then a boarding house. Couldn’t find out much about them beyond that though, not even marriages and deaths.’</p>
<p>‘Chances are,’ Spike chimed in, ‘it’s the same members of the family. Tresum witches tend to live a long time. Almost immortal.’</p>
<p>‘Still human though, right?’ Xander asked.</p>
<p>‘Yup,’ Spike agreed. ‘Can be killed easier than vamps if you can get close enough. But they’re powerful.’</p>
<p>Xander blinked at the note of warning in Spike’s voice. ‘So, why are you here, then? If vamps avoid the place.’</p>
<p>‘Told you. Heard you were here, pet.’</p>
<p>‘Why would that interest you? Every time we’ve met you’ve tried to kill me.’ Xander felt Adam stiffen further beside him, his arm coming around Xander’s waist protectively. For the life of him, Xander couldn’t understand Adam’s reaction to thoughts of Xander’s potential death.</p>
<p>‘Always liked you, luv,’ Spike admitted, sauntering even closer to them, looking them up and down with a satisfied smirk on his face. ‘Ever since Peaches offered you to me that day at the school. You and the cheerleader were the only ones of your little group I liked.’</p>
<p>‘You liked me.’ Xander’s voice was full of incredulousness. ‘Last time I saw you, you knocked me out with a microscope and kidnapped me.’</p>
<p>‘Wanted to keep you too,’ Spike revealed with a shrug. ‘But getting my Dru back was more important.’</p>
<p>‘Okay, that’s disturbing,’ Xander muttered with a shudder. ‘What happened with Dru, anyway? She dump you again?’</p>
<p>Spike frowned. ‘Maybe,’ he muttered sullenly. ‘What are you doing here anyway? Never thought you’d leave Sunnyhell. Plus, you smell different.’</p>
<p>‘That’s gross,’ Xander told Spike, Adam shuddering in agreement. ‘And I’m here for college.’</p>
<p>‘Really?’ Spike asked, his face brightening. ‘Congrats, mate, knew you could do it!’</p>
<p>‘Uh, thanks?’ Xander replied uncertainly. How was it the evil vampire had faith in his academic abilities, but his so-called friends didn’t?</p>
<p>‘You two an item, then?’ Spike asked suddenly. He laughed when Xander blinked in shock and Adam’s face whitened slightly. ‘Way you’re standing, s’obvious. Plus, that hickey.’ Spike motioned with his hand at Xander’s neck. </p>
<p>‘Alright, as weird as this conversation is,’ Xander interrupted as Spike went to say more, ‘we’ve got a Cory to catch.’</p>
<p>‘The guy who ran off? Looked like he was under a spell or something,’ Spike asked, sounding supremely uncaring.</p>
<p>‘Yeah, possibly some kind of love spell,’ Xander revealed, running a hand through his hair in agitation. ‘And I need to stop him before he does something he’ll regret. Find a way to break the spell.’</p>
<p>‘Won’t be able to if it’s Tresum,’ Spike revealed with a shrug. ‘Only Tresum witches can undo Tresum magic.’</p>
<p>Xander groaned at this, before nodding to himself. ‘Fine, then we’ll lock him up till we get this Ambrosius guy to undo what he did.’</p>
<p>Spike shrugged. ‘Went towards the beach,’ he said.</p>
<p>‘How do you know that?’ Adam asked in curiosity, apparently getting over his fear of vampires based on how very not threatening Spike appeared right now.</p>
<p>‘Smell him, can’t I?’ Spike replied. ‘Got a hint of ozone cause of the magic.’</p>
<p>Xander thought for a moment, then groaned as he decided to just jump in. ‘I’m probably gonna regret this later,’ he mumbled, closing his eyes briefly before looking at Spike. ‘Can you lead us?’ he asked reluctantly.</p>
<p>‘What’s in it for me, pet?’ Spike asked, looking amused.</p>
<p>‘I don’t stake you?’ Xander offered.</p>
<p>‘Like I couldn’t kill you before you got close,’ Spike scoffed.</p>
<p>Xander grinned, a rather dark grin. ‘Couldn’t even if you tried, fang face.’</p>
<p>Spike started slightly, then peered closely at Xander. ‘That why you smell different? You no longer human, pet?’ Spike’s voice was amused.</p>
<p>‘I’m very human,’ Xander replied. ‘Just can’t die anymore.’</p>
<p>‘Why’d you do that?’ Spike asked, head cocked curiously.</p>
<p>‘Willow did it, not me,’ Xander growled. ‘You gonna lead us or not?’</p>
<p>‘Alright, alright,’ Spike held his hands up before himself in surrender. ‘This way,’ he led them off into the darkness, towards a pier on the beach that Xander had seen from a distance back when Van had shown him and Kevin around.</p>
<p>The three half jogged through the night in silence as Spike led them along Cory’s scent trail. They stopped once, where Spike revealed another scent had joined Cory’s, human with no magic. Xander and Adam had looked at each other nervously at this. </p>
<p>By the time they got to the pier, a fight was in full swing. Xander could make out Toby lying on the floor, apparently unconscious. Adam had noticed the same thing, and he quickly skirted the two fighting men and skidded to his knees to check on Toby. Xander paid more attention to the two fighting. One was Cory, who had managed to get a wicked looking knife from somewhere, vividly reminding Xander of Jack’s Katie. The other man was Ambrosius, who was just about holding his own and keeping the knife away from him. Cory appeared to be a lot stronger than Xander would have thought based on his general sickly appearance, and Ambrosius was injured.</p>
<p>Spike had leaned himself against the pier’s railings and was grinning in happiness as he watched the fight, not willing to jump in and help either man, leaving it to Xander. He threw himself between the two men, his hand grasping Cory’s wrist and moving the knife up and away from himself. It was then that he realised Ambrosius’ clothes were torn, but not by the knife. It looked like Cory had ripped the clothes with his bare hands.</p>
<p>‘Stay out of this!’ Cory yelled. ‘He’s mine!’</p>
<p>‘Cory, stop this!’ Xander yelled back. ‘This isn’t you!’</p>
<p>Cory just growled at this, putting all his strength in trying to get free of Xander. The two struggled ferociously, neither willing to give up. They staggered away from Ambrosius, into the middle of the walkway, Xander trying to disarm Cory and Cory trying to do as much damage to Xander as possible. Cory landed a fair few punches, Xander’s body was aching with the soon to be bruises being added to the ones he already had. Xander was trying not to hurt Cory too much but landed a few powerful punches himself. Cory’s left eye was already swelling shut.</p>
<p>The two moved back and forth for what seemed like forever to Xander, before Cory’s strength overpowered Xander’s and the knife he held went deep into Xander’s chest and heart. Xander yelled in pain. He vaguely heard a yelped ‘Xander!’ from Adam and an indignant ‘Oi!’ from Spike as he fell to his knees, taking Cory down with him. He grasped at the knife as Cory yelled in triumph and started to pull away, only to find that Xander still had him in a strong grip. Xander pulled, yelling in agony once more as the knife slid jaggedly out of his chest.</p>
<p>Cory blinked down at Xander in shock as he watched the wound heal over, leaving nothing behind except the already spilled blood. He yelled in fury and went once more for the knife. Xander reacted on instinct, hands going up to prevent Cory doing any further damage to his battered body. </p>
<p>Xander jerked in horrified shock as the knife still in his hand shuddered to a stop, blood gushing down and over his hand and arm as Cory gasped, trying to speak but unable to. The knife’s hilt glinted darkly in the moonlight, shifting in colours between the glistening red of Cory and Xander’s blood, the shining silver of the blade and Cory’s pale and getting paler by the second skin. Cory grasped weakly at Xander’s wrist, still holding the knife as Xander froze, staring up into Cory’s darkening eyes.</p>
<p>Xander could only gasp for breath over and over again as he watched the life slowly leave Cory’s eyes. The night seemed perfectly still and silent. Xander could see and hear nothing but Cory’s blue eyes and Cory’s lessening gasps. He couldn’t move, he could only watch, as if frozen to this one spot. As the light in Cory’s eyes finally went out, the blue turning dull and lifeless, Cory fell slowly backward. Xander still had a tight grip on the knife’s hilt but had let go of Cory, so as Cory fell the knife pulled free with a sickening squelching sound, more blood gushing out of the gaping wound in Cory’s neck.</p>
<p>The sounds around him suddenly rushed back. Where everything had seemed so silent and still before, not it seemed painfully loud and busy. Xander was vaguely aware of Adam’s arms wrapping around him, Spike’s hands gently removing the knife from his hand, Ambrosius kneeling in front of him, stroking the side of his face gently, and Toby leaning down and closing Cory’s lifeless eyes, tears on his face as he looked at Xander in shocked sympathy.</p>
<p>Xander shuddered violently in Adam’s hold, taking in deep lungful’s of air, unable to get enough, as his vision blackened. He let himself get carried away into the blissful darkness of unconsciousness, somehow knowing Adam would catch him as he fell backwards.</p>
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